1 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,210 Hi, Curly. 2 00:02:01,856 --> 00:02:03,346 Remember me? 3 00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:05,382 Mitch Robbins? 4 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,023 I was on your last cattle drive. 5 00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:11,423 Remember? We birthed that calf together. 6 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:13,862 How you been? 7 00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:17,994 I'm sorry. That's a stupid thing to say, because... 8 00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:22,140 Why get into that? Why depress you? 9 00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:24,543 Anyway... 10 00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:27,843 I think about you a lot. 11 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,279 You changed my whole life. 12 00:02:31,085 --> 00:02:33,076 You were right, cowboy. 13 00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:35,645 "One thing. " 14 00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:38,085 "Just one thing. " 15 00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,603 City folk. 16 00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,678 I buried him alive! 17 00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:33,802 Hello? 18 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:06,829 Yes! 19 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:08,565 Hi, Mom. 20 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:13,469 It's September 8, 1952. 21 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:17,803 We're driving back from Aunt Marsha's, my water breaks... 22 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:21,143 your father jumps the divider of the Saw Mill River Parkway... 23 00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:23,706 and races me to Doctors' Hospital... 24 00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:26,312 and at 5:16... 25 00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:30,149 out you came. 26 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,720 Happy birthday, darling! 27 00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:37,186 I can't believe you're 40. 28 00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:42,560 I'm overcome. Talk to your father. 29 00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,828 - Hi, Dad. - Hi, boy. Happy birthday. 30 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,305 Thanks. How are you? 31 00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:50,935 I got a cyst on my testicle. Here's your mother. 32 00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:53,002 Don't worry, he's fine. 33 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:56,343 So, how does it feel to be 40? 34 00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:59,509 - Actually, Mom, I feel great. - Why, what's wrong? 35 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:02,680 Ma, he's fine. He's never been better. 36 00:07:03,958 --> 00:07:06,688 You're there, too? Hi, Barbara. 37 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,887 Well, listen, you two, have a... 38 00:07:08,963 --> 00:07:12,126 Leo, Leo! The dog needs to go out. 39 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:14,531 Leo! He's impossible. 40 00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:17,466 - I'm gonna have him neutered. - She means the dog. 41 00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:18,903 Stop that! 42 00:07:18,973 --> 00:07:21,464 I've got to go, he's peeing on the carpet! 43 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,100 She means Dad. 44 00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,574 'Bye, Mom. 45 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:30,708 'Bye, angel birthday boy. 46 00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:32,808 'Bye. 47 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:36,720 - Happy birthday, honey. - Thanks. 48 00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:40,691 Oh, boy! 49 00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:43,923 - What a nightmare. - They're your parents. 50 00:07:44,398 --> 00:07:47,561 No, not them. I had a nightmare that was... 51 00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:50,999 I don't want to talk about it... 52 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:54,199 because today is my birthday. 53 00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:56,174 The big 4-0. 54 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,245 And I feel good, I really feel great. 55 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,078 I feel good, yes. 56 00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:08,554 Nurse, today is my birthday. I'd like to look at the ocean, please. 57 00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:09,847 Thank you. 58 00:08:11,025 --> 00:08:14,358 I'm 40. And you know what? It's not so terrible. 59 00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:17,761 There's no surprise party, right? Please, no surprise party? 60 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:21,597 Abe's wife threw a surprise party, he walked in, they yelled, "Surprise! "... 61 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:24,637 and he said, "Bigger surprise: I'm having a heart attack! " 62 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:27,538 Abe Goodman weighed 400 pounds. 63 00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:29,769 Who are you telling, I was a pallbearer. 64 00:08:30,044 --> 00:08:32,274 I had to help carry that camper he was buried in. 65 00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:33,813 No surprise party. 66 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:37,015 Just dinner and the movies, you, me, and the kids... 67 00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:40,776 then both the kids are going to sleep over at my sister's. 68 00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:46,319 And you and I will have the whole house to ourselves. 69 00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,857 All night long. 70 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,959 That's my present to you. 71 00:08:57,838 --> 00:08:59,567 Can I open my present now? 72 00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:01,900 Tonight. 73 00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:09,307 But, look, the little man wants to go to the parade. 74 00:09:10,184 --> 00:09:12,015 Save your strength. 75 00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:13,810 You'll need it. 76 00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,384 I love it up here. 77 00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:19,254 I'm so glad we moved out of the city. 78 00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:21,725 - 'Morning! - Good morning! 79 00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:24,157 Work is good. 80 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,430 I'm just not pushing time anymore. 81 00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:28,695 I'm the boss now and I like it. 82 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,394 - 'Morning! - 'Morning! 83 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,974 Want to turn back? Come on, let's go. 84 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:40,513 How will you get into a bathing suit? Look at you, you weigh 800 pounds. 85 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,109 And don't tell me ThighMaster. 86 00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:46,118 You're so out of shape. I'm 40 and you're 1. 87 00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,881 Look at you. 88 00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:50,446 You're like this big tub of veal or something. 89 00:09:50,524 --> 00:09:53,857 Stay in your lane. Why bump me, Norman? I saved your life. 90 00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:56,755 If it wasn't for me, you'd be 100 wallets. 91 00:10:26,260 --> 00:10:27,659 Okay, we're back. 92 00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:31,490 I'm Dr. Jeffrey Sanborn. Emotional pain is as real as physical pain. 93 00:10:31,565 --> 00:10:34,864 Just 'cause you can't see a wound on an X-ray doesn't mean it isn't there. 94 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:36,869 Remember, I feel your pain. 95 00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:40,767 If you want to talk to me about anything, call 555-HELP. 96 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,974 We're on the phone now with Kenny from New Jersey. 97 00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:48,038 - Kenny? Thanks for waiting. - That's all right. 98 00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:52,015 Kenny, you said you get extremely depressed at night. 99 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:55,316 That's when the clothes in my closet come alive. 100 00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:56,848 Excuse me? 101 00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:59,150 Well, not really, it's... 102 00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:01,951 Nighttime's when I'm alone and my mind... 103 00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,519 I understand. 104 00:11:03,597 --> 00:11:06,498 I pretend there are friends who come over... 105 00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:08,694 Are these men's or women's clothes? 106 00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:11,932 No, I don't have women's clothes. They're men's clothes. 107 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,165 None at all? 108 00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:16,237 Hi. Don't forget. The sales meeting's in 10 minutes. 109 00:11:16,310 --> 00:11:18,540 I want to talk to you about Phil. 110 00:11:18,612 --> 00:11:21,604 Nobody said anything when you gave your friend your old job... 111 00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:24,048 though he had no experience in radio or sales... 112 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:26,051 - I know. ... because you're the boss. 113 00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:29,054 But you said you'd let him go two months ago. 114 00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:30,555 I know. 115 00:11:30,624 --> 00:11:33,991 - He's costing the station money. - It takes a while. 116 00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:37,295 He's in his office now. He's trying his best. 117 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,730 He's been through a tough time. He's being cleaned out in his divorce. 118 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:44,964 He's just down. 119 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:48,565 Then why are you taking him to the Las Vegas convention? 120 00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:53,170 They'll charge you for excess baggage. You can't keep putting this off. 121 00:11:53,247 --> 00:11:57,240 Lois, today is my birthday. Do you know what your present to me is? 122 00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,545 Not to talk about this anymore? 123 00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:01,781 Thank you, it's just what I wanted. 124 00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,893 We're back with Kenny from New Jersey. 125 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:14,329 The women you meet, do they say things to make you feel they don't like you? 126 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:17,564 It's not anything that they say, it's just... 127 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,372 an overall feeling I get that they're... 128 00:12:22,276 --> 00:12:24,267 What do you get? 129 00:12:25,379 --> 00:12:27,108 Are you there, Kenny? 130 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,143 Are you all right? 131 00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:32,742 Are the clothes in your closet coming to life? 132 00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:38,614 - What's happening? - Wrong number. 133 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,354 Speak to me. 134 00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:43,619 Kenny has to go. He's cooking breakfast for his underwear. 135 00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,388 - Who is this? - I'm a pair of his socks. 136 00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:52,634 You're calling the station psychiatrist instead of working? 137 00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:56,906 Well, it's free. Do you know what psychiatry costs? 138 00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,611 Anyway, this guy is helping me. 139 00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:01,405 Helping you? 140 00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:04,678 Last year this guy was doing our traffic reports from a helicopter. 141 00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:07,652 If this doesn't work, he's going to be the movie critic. 142 00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:10,417 What's going on? You were doing so much better. 143 00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:15,157 I'm thinking of going back with Arlene. 144 00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:16,627 Are you serious? 145 00:13:16,697 --> 00:13:19,222 I'm not sure she'd take me back, but maybe... 146 00:13:19,433 --> 00:13:21,196 Think about what you're saying. 147 00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:24,499 Going back to Arlene is like breaking back into Alcatraz. 148 00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:26,466 You were miserable with Arlene. 149 00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:29,804 Yeah, but I wasn't lonely. 150 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:35,915 Come home with me tonight. It's my birthday, we're going out. 151 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:38,416 - I forgot your birthday! - Don't worry about it. 152 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:41,079 Just come with me. But you can't sleep over... 153 00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,317 because Barbara and I... 154 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,515 - You can't. - That's okay. 155 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:48,686 Then this weekend we're going to Vegas. That'll be fun. 156 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:55,265 Oh, boy, we got a big meeting, so come on. 157 00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:01,504 Thank God I've got this job to go to every day or I'd really go crazy. 158 00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:07,478 - Good morning, everybody. - Good morning. 159 00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:10,209 What's with the champagne? What are we celebrating? 160 00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:11,944 We're celebrating two things. 161 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,919 First, today happens to be my 40th birthday. 162 00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:20,954 Secondly, and maybe more importantly, in a minute George Leyton will call... 163 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:24,258 to inform us officially that we are the new New York affiliate... 164 00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:26,128 for the Jerry Jackson Show! 165 00:14:28,802 --> 00:14:30,793 - That show's a gold mine! - Sure is. 166 00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:33,271 Naturally, I had to clear the 6:00 to 10:00 slots. 167 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:36,571 We're talking scheduling changes, marketing, promotion and sales. 168 00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:37,905 This is great for our station! 169 00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:42,273 - Call for Mitch, line 1. - Put it through. 170 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:44,078 This must be the call. 171 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:47,482 Put it on the speaker, I want to share this with everybody. 172 00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:51,890 'Morning. You have good news for me? 173 00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:54,688 Tonight, I will pull down your pants... 174 00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:57,889 sink my hands into your cute little ass... 175 00:14:57,964 --> 00:15:00,023 and give you a tongue bath. 176 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:04,326 I'm going to start at your feet and slowly work my way up... 177 00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:05,894 Hello? 178 00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:13,675 New Rochelle. 179 00:15:14,648 --> 00:15:16,138 Phil, we're here. 180 00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:18,043 We're here. 181 00:15:27,861 --> 00:15:29,920 - Look, come here! - I'm up. 182 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,255 What? 183 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:38,359 Nothing. 184 00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:44,701 Excuse me. Coming through. 185 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:54,880 Curly! 186 00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:57,818 I'm sorry... 187 00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:04,227 Who was that? 188 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,931 I thought it was somebody else. 189 00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:11,097 Come on, it's your birthday. Let's go. 190 00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:26,245 - What if he was a narcoleptic? - Who? 191 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,077 Curly. 192 00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:32,988 Curly? The trail boss? 193 00:16:34,895 --> 00:16:38,854 They go into these trances where it looks like they're dead, but... 194 00:16:38,932 --> 00:16:41,594 - they're not. - He was dead. We checked. 195 00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,260 He was... 196 00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:47,133 Why are you even thinking about this? 197 00:16:49,075 --> 00:16:51,305 I thought I just saw Curly on the train. 198 00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:54,003 That's who I was chasing after. 199 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,114 Yeah, right. 200 00:16:56,550 --> 00:16:59,883 We buried him alive. He was underground for a year... 201 00:16:59,953 --> 00:17:01,887 got up, dusted himself off... 202 00:17:01,955 --> 00:17:04,719 and got on the commuter train to New Rochelle. 203 00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:06,519 That makes sense. 204 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,359 You're right. 205 00:17:08,929 --> 00:17:11,420 I must just be tired, that's all. 206 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,200 Honey, I'm home. 207 00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,245 Guess who's coming to dinner? 208 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,645 So you knew he was coming? 209 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,947 - Yeah, I invited him. - How could you do that? 210 00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:35,146 - What are you saying? - I'll leave. 211 00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,086 You know I can't stand him. 212 00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:40,987 - Oh, my God. - Honey, this is Phil, our friend. 213 00:17:41,962 --> 00:17:44,396 I'm not talking about Phil. 214 00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,064 You thought I meant Phil? 215 00:17:50,604 --> 00:17:51,593 No, Phil. 216 00:17:53,974 --> 00:17:55,805 I love you. 217 00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:58,033 Then what are we talking about? 218 00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,405 - Then you don't know. - No, I don't. 219 00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:02,971 Can I buy a vowel? 220 00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:06,142 - Your brother's here. - Oh, no. 221 00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:08,981 Glen? Crazy Glen? 222 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:10,780 What do you mean, he's here? 223 00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,916 What do I mean? He's here! 224 00:18:12,993 --> 00:18:16,121 He's in our den, watching a Spanish soap opera. 225 00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:18,627 How is he? How did he seem? 226 00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:22,565 He came in and asked me to make him a sandwich, no crust... 227 00:18:22,636 --> 00:18:25,400 then started making long distance calls. 228 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:26,564 Oh, God. 229 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,803 First, he did three scenes from Godfather II. 230 00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:32,735 He still does that? I love that. 231 00:18:34,014 --> 00:18:37,347 I'm warning you. If you mention The Godfather to him... 232 00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:40,215 I'll rip your arms out and beat you to death with them. 233 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,186 This started as a good birthday. 234 00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:46,521 - What's he been up to? - Nothing. He's the vice president of Lazy. 235 00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:48,891 He goes from one family member to another... 236 00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,089 stays there until they throw him out. 237 00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:52,791 He borrows money. 238 00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:55,229 Borrows indicates an intent to repay. 239 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,098 He gets jobs that aren't jobs. 240 00:18:57,170 --> 00:19:00,401 We only hear from him through change of address cards. He's lost. 241 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:04,842 He's a lost soul, he's a dented can... He's behind me, isn't he? 242 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:08,677 Buenos dias. 243 00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:10,147 Hello, Glen. 244 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,411 - How was your sandwich? - Delightful. 245 00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,984 I'm sorry about what I said. 246 00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:17,416 Water off a duck's back. Come here. 247 00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:22,319 Look at you, you're still the world's smallest big brother. 248 00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:23,760 - Hey, Glen. - Phil. 249 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:26,196 Long time no see. How are you? 250 00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:29,730 I'm getting divorced, I'm living alone... 251 00:19:29,903 --> 00:19:31,894 struggling for a reason to live. 252 00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:36,335 Too much information for me. 253 00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,940 I cannot get over this place. I mean, look at it. 254 00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:45,013 You got birds and trees, and you got those fish and you got a cow... 255 00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:47,576 By the way... 256 00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:50,316 - there is something wrong with your cow. - What? 257 00:19:51,257 --> 00:19:55,159 I thought I'd help out with the chores, you know, so I figured... 258 00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:56,655 milk the cow. 259 00:19:56,730 --> 00:20:00,461 I reach under there and I'm pulling and tugging. 260 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,090 Nothing, not a drop. 261 00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:06,036 The cow's name is Norman. You were pulling on his dick. 262 00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:10,337 I'm gonna go wash up. 263 00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:14,809 Let me ask you a question: 264 00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,508 Who had Frankie Pentangeli killed? 265 00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:24,148 The Rosato Brothers. 266 00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:26,582 Who gave the order? 267 00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:29,261 I love this. 268 00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,487 There was this kid... 269 00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:33,197 I grew up with. 270 00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:36,264 He was younger than me, looked up to me. 271 00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:38,927 We did our first work together. 272 00:20:39,172 --> 00:20:43,108 Worked our way up the streets. Things were good. We made the most of it. 273 00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,141 I got to change. 274 00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:48,442 During prohibition, we ran molasses into Canada. 275 00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:50,014 Made a fortune. 276 00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:53,348 Ran molasses to Canada. You should run brains to your head. 277 00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:58,914 I can't believe you two are from the same gene pool. 278 00:20:58,992 --> 00:21:01,654 - He's from the shallow end. - When's he leaving? 279 00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,691 I'll talk to him tonight. 280 00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:05,525 Hi, Dad. Happy birthday. 281 00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:09,533 - Thanks, Holly. Did you see your uncle? - He borrowed $10 from me. 282 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,537 - Have you seen your brother? - He's hiding from Uncle Glen. 283 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:15,574 Find him and tell him we're leaving in a few minutes. 284 00:21:15,809 --> 00:21:16,935 Who's that? 285 00:21:17,177 --> 00:21:19,475 It's Curtis. I invited him to come with us. 286 00:21:19,546 --> 00:21:21,605 - Curtis? The lab experiment? - Dad! 287 00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:28,076 I know you like him, but it's my birthday and I wanted this to be a family thing. 288 00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:30,952 - Mom! - Answer the door. 289 00:21:36,830 --> 00:21:38,627 I don't trust this Curtis. 290 00:21:38,698 --> 00:21:41,531 He's got eight million earrings, his nose is pierced... 291 00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:43,296 He's no boy, he's a fishing lure. 292 00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:46,394 This is the business we've chosen... 293 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:48,998 What do we do about him? 294 00:21:49,075 --> 00:21:53,808 We were supposed to be alone tonight. I was planning to make noise. 295 00:21:55,281 --> 00:21:58,614 I'll send him home with Phil. It's perfect! 296 00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:01,382 Tonight is our night. 297 00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:05,048 Tonight, I'm the Energizer Bunny. 298 00:22:06,559 --> 00:22:09,585 Someone put a bullet through his eye. 299 00:22:16,236 --> 00:22:18,329 Are you relaxed now? 300 00:22:27,213 --> 00:22:28,612 It's time. 301 00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:33,751 - I'm going to change. - Change? 302 00:22:36,189 --> 00:22:37,850 Into what? 303 00:22:42,595 --> 00:22:44,529 Your husband's out of town? 304 00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:46,358 - What? - Nothing. 305 00:22:47,333 --> 00:22:49,494 It's just something that helps me. 306 00:23:04,984 --> 00:23:07,384 I'm Antonio, dance with me. 307 00:23:08,955 --> 00:23:10,718 Oh, baby. 308 00:23:17,463 --> 00:23:19,954 I look like a schmuck. 309 00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:47,115 What's this? 310 00:24:02,008 --> 00:24:04,272 What did you have in your hat, Curly? 311 00:24:22,628 --> 00:24:25,062 What the hell is this? 312 00:24:27,667 --> 00:24:30,158 "$1,000,000 in gold. 313 00:24:30,236 --> 00:24:32,898 "I took it, you find it. " 314 00:24:33,606 --> 00:24:35,039 - What the... - Mitch! 315 00:24:37,643 --> 00:24:39,975 - I'm ready. - Just a second. 316 00:24:55,128 --> 00:24:57,062 Happy birthday. 317 00:24:59,098 --> 00:25:00,087 Wow. 318 00:25:01,567 --> 00:25:03,592 If I scream too loud... 319 00:25:04,404 --> 00:25:05,632 tough. 320 00:25:31,631 --> 00:25:32,723 I'm done. 321 00:25:35,334 --> 00:25:36,824 What happened? 322 00:25:37,336 --> 00:25:41,500 - I just... - There was, I think, too much anticipation. 323 00:25:41,841 --> 00:25:44,207 You know, and you look so great. 324 00:25:44,610 --> 00:25:48,842 And the kissing was great, really wonderful, topnotch kissing, and... 325 00:25:49,982 --> 00:25:51,973 it's better this way. 326 00:25:53,986 --> 00:25:55,248 For whom? 327 00:25:55,621 --> 00:25:58,556 You. I mean, for us, I mean... 328 00:25:59,625 --> 00:26:01,490 because now... 329 00:26:04,430 --> 00:26:08,924 that one's out of the way, and in 10 minutes the new shift comes on... 330 00:26:09,302 --> 00:26:11,634 and I'll be in total control. 331 00:26:12,038 --> 00:26:15,439 So, go hide in any room in the house and I'll go look for you. 332 00:26:16,576 --> 00:26:19,170 - What? - Go. It'll be great. 333 00:26:21,714 --> 00:26:23,579 Any room in the house. 334 00:26:23,749 --> 00:26:26,047 I guess I got you too excited. 335 00:26:27,286 --> 00:26:28,548 Go hide. 336 00:26:35,361 --> 00:26:37,488 I'm hiding. 337 00:26:39,198 --> 00:26:40,893 I don't believe this! 338 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,627 - Mitch? - Okay. 339 00:27:00,253 --> 00:27:01,880 I feel your pain. 340 00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:05,412 Tell me again. Last year you buried someone you were fond of? 341 00:27:06,325 --> 00:27:10,056 Someone I was very fond of. With whom I had a very good relationship. 342 00:27:10,363 --> 00:27:13,298 But now this dead individual seems to be following me. 343 00:27:13,366 --> 00:27:15,960 - Excuse me? - I am plotzing, I am seeing him... 344 00:27:16,035 --> 00:27:17,764 You listening to this nut? 345 00:27:19,338 --> 00:27:20,498 He's crazy. 346 00:27:20,606 --> 00:27:23,336 - Are you seeing him now? - Gotta go. 347 00:27:24,110 --> 00:27:26,010 - 'Morning. - Are you busy? 348 00:27:26,546 --> 00:27:29,515 Actually, could I talk to you for a second? 349 00:27:29,916 --> 00:27:30,905 What? 350 00:27:30,983 --> 00:27:32,712 You know what, forget about it. 351 00:27:32,785 --> 00:27:35,481 I love to hear about other people's problems. 352 00:27:35,555 --> 00:27:37,352 Makes me feel normal. 353 00:27:38,991 --> 00:27:42,085 I know that this will sound crazy, but... 354 00:27:42,161 --> 00:27:43,651 I saw him again. 355 00:27:43,729 --> 00:27:45,856 - Who? - Curly. 356 00:27:47,066 --> 00:27:48,294 Oh, God, Mitch. 357 00:27:48,367 --> 00:27:52,599 Last night in the rain, outside my window. I ran out, but he was gone. 358 00:27:52,805 --> 00:27:55,035 I'm telling you, we buried him alive. 359 00:27:55,107 --> 00:27:57,837 He is pissed, and he wants his hat back. 360 00:27:59,545 --> 00:28:02,139 - I'm taking you home. - No, let me explain. 361 00:28:02,215 --> 00:28:04,706 Nobody returns from the dead for their hat. 362 00:28:04,984 --> 00:28:07,680 - Lf this was in it? - This was in Curly's hat? 363 00:28:07,753 --> 00:28:09,721 It was sewn in the hat band. 364 00:28:10,690 --> 00:28:12,021 Read this. 365 00:28:12,258 --> 00:28:14,954 "West Pac, eat my dust. I took it, you find it. 366 00:28:15,027 --> 00:28:18,656 "$1,000,000. L. Washburn. " Who's L. Washburn? 367 00:28:18,731 --> 00:28:20,631 - No idea. - What is this? 368 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:22,763 I think it's a treasure map. 369 00:28:22,835 --> 00:28:25,030 - No kidding? - I'm not imagining this, right? 370 00:28:25,104 --> 00:28:26,799 There's a piece missing. 371 00:28:26,872 --> 00:28:29,602 But it shows the trail and the X where it's buried. 372 00:28:29,675 --> 00:28:33,771 $1,000,000! I got those Time-Life books on the Old West... 373 00:28:33,846 --> 00:28:37,680 and I read there's money buried all over that's never been found. 374 00:28:37,917 --> 00:28:40,750 I bet this map tells you where it's buried. 375 00:28:40,820 --> 00:28:43,220 Tells you where what's buried? 376 00:28:44,924 --> 00:28:46,653 Phil's grandmother. 377 00:28:50,630 --> 00:28:52,860 What's up? We're really busy. 378 00:28:54,634 --> 00:28:57,797 I'm going to do a little more research on this... 379 00:28:59,438 --> 00:29:00,803 Grandma. 380 00:29:03,175 --> 00:29:05,200 Wow, this is a big office. 381 00:29:06,112 --> 00:29:07,773 It's not that big. 382 00:29:08,914 --> 00:29:11,314 "Mitch Robbins, Station Manager. " 383 00:29:12,118 --> 00:29:15,417 - What is it? I'm a little bit busy. - Nothing. 384 00:29:15,488 --> 00:29:18,423 That's great you got Phil a job. That's really nice. 385 00:29:18,491 --> 00:29:21,392 - What's it been, about five months now? - Yeah. 386 00:29:23,562 --> 00:29:28,022 I called you about six months ago, and asked if there were any openings... 387 00:29:28,467 --> 00:29:31,994 and you said there wasn't anything. Then a month goes by... 388 00:29:32,438 --> 00:29:35,168 something opens up, and Phil gets it. 389 00:29:37,576 --> 00:29:40,067 My tough luck, I guess. Or bad timing. 390 00:29:42,448 --> 00:29:44,848 I always try to take care of you. 391 00:29:45,584 --> 00:29:47,484 Take care of me? 392 00:29:47,853 --> 00:29:50,947 Mikey, you're my kid brother, and you take care of me? 393 00:29:51,691 --> 00:29:54,319 You're my kid brother. My name is not Mikey. 394 00:29:54,393 --> 00:29:57,055 Send Fredo to do this, send Fredo to do that. 395 00:29:57,129 --> 00:29:58,323 - I'm smart. - Stop. 396 00:29:58,397 --> 00:30:00,456 I'm smart, I want respect! 397 00:30:00,533 --> 00:30:03,001 Would you stop with this Godfather stuff! 398 00:30:03,602 --> 00:30:06,196 You want to talk about this? Seriously? 399 00:30:08,474 --> 00:30:11,238 'Cause you have a job for a friend and not for a brother. 400 00:30:11,644 --> 00:30:13,874 And don't tell me he's special, all right? 401 00:30:13,946 --> 00:30:16,710 I like Phil, but let's face it... 402 00:30:16,782 --> 00:30:19,683 he's a lamb chop short of a mixed grill. 403 00:30:19,952 --> 00:30:21,180 So when you say... 404 00:30:21,253 --> 00:30:23,847 I'll tell you something, and I'll be honest. 405 00:30:24,323 --> 00:30:28,054 I didn't want you to work here because I can't count on you. 406 00:30:31,397 --> 00:30:35,527 I have tried to help you in the past and you embarrassed me, frankly. 407 00:30:35,801 --> 00:30:38,599 - When? - When? The ad agency thing? 408 00:30:38,804 --> 00:30:42,638 Bob Richardson gave you that job as a personal favor to me. 409 00:30:42,775 --> 00:30:44,572 And you let him down. 410 00:30:45,945 --> 00:30:49,403 Bob Richardson said terrible things about you behind your back. 411 00:30:49,682 --> 00:30:51,582 I had a fight with him. 412 00:30:51,717 --> 00:30:55,915 I said I don't care who he is, he can't talk about my brother like that. 413 00:30:55,988 --> 00:30:58,252 And I refused to work there anymore. 414 00:30:59,425 --> 00:31:01,393 He told me you never showed up. 415 00:31:04,964 --> 00:31:06,932 Oh, that Bob Richardson. 416 00:31:07,266 --> 00:31:08,665 That guy. He... 417 00:31:16,575 --> 00:31:19,806 I'll just deal with the fact that my brother thinks I'm an idiot. 418 00:31:19,879 --> 00:31:23,406 Don't turn this into an opera. I don't think you're an idiot. 419 00:31:23,682 --> 00:31:27,140 No? Never once in your life did you ever say you were proud of me. 420 00:31:27,987 --> 00:31:29,249 For what? 421 00:31:30,022 --> 00:31:31,011 Thanks. 422 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:35,949 Damn it! 423 00:31:37,229 --> 00:31:39,720 Glen, wait a second. Come here. 424 00:31:39,799 --> 00:31:43,064 - Glen, come here. - Let go of me, you big bully. 425 00:31:43,135 --> 00:31:46,070 Come here! Listen to me. I'm sorry... 426 00:31:46,238 --> 00:31:47,705 but you set me up for that. 427 00:31:48,307 --> 00:31:50,172 You've a right to feel how you feel. 428 00:31:51,043 --> 00:31:53,273 Would you please listen to me? 429 00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:57,272 Friday, I'm going to Las Vegas. 430 00:31:57,349 --> 00:31:59,078 There's a big convention. 431 00:31:59,151 --> 00:32:01,051 Why don't you come with me and Phil? 432 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:03,748 I'll introduce you, you'll meet people, make contacts. 433 00:32:03,823 --> 00:32:05,552 Maybe something'll come of it... 434 00:32:05,624 --> 00:32:08,252 if you're really looking for a serious job. 435 00:32:08,761 --> 00:32:11,753 - Okay? - Hey, Mitch. Come on. I found some... 436 00:32:12,131 --> 00:32:13,359 Grandma. 437 00:32:13,966 --> 00:32:15,126 Can you loan me $10? 438 00:32:17,036 --> 00:32:21,166 And then it just hit me. West Pac: Western Pacific Railroad. 439 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:24,607 I'll bet you that $1,000,000 is from a train robbery. 440 00:32:24,677 --> 00:32:27,145 $1,000,000! 441 00:32:27,213 --> 00:32:30,580 A little louder, some of the crack dealers didn't hear you. Thank you. 442 00:32:30,883 --> 00:32:32,612 Get you a little decaf. 443 00:32:53,439 --> 00:32:54,497 I got it! 444 00:32:57,877 --> 00:32:59,344 Look at this. 445 00:33:00,779 --> 00:33:02,406 "June 12, 1908." 446 00:33:02,615 --> 00:33:04,446 That's what it says on the map! 447 00:33:04,517 --> 00:33:07,645 What could Curly have to do with this? In 1908 he wasn't born yet. 448 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:11,212 Look at this. The starting spot on the map, Spencer... 449 00:33:11,290 --> 00:33:14,817 it's only 65 miles from Las Vegas. 450 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:16,821 This is fate! 451 00:33:16,962 --> 00:33:18,224 Up yours. 452 00:33:19,231 --> 00:33:21,495 "$1,000,000 in gold bars lost. " 453 00:33:22,101 --> 00:33:25,502 That was then. Gold is 10 times more valuable now. 454 00:33:25,571 --> 00:33:26,868 Twenty! 455 00:33:26,939 --> 00:33:28,338 $20,000,000! 456 00:33:29,008 --> 00:33:32,409 Sorry. What am I doing? I'm getting crazy! This is ridiculous. 457 00:33:32,478 --> 00:33:35,447 It's not crazy. It's all fitting into place. Look. 458 00:33:35,514 --> 00:33:38,005 I got the trial of the train robbers. 459 00:33:40,286 --> 00:33:43,084 "Leader of the gang, Lincoln Washburn... " 460 00:33:43,856 --> 00:33:46,222 - L. Washburn! - I don't believe this. 461 00:33:46,292 --> 00:33:50,490 "... challenged the authorities. 'I took it, you find it', he said. 462 00:33:51,096 --> 00:33:54,088 "So far, none of the gold has been recovered. " 463 00:33:54,500 --> 00:33:57,025 None of the gold has been recovered. 464 00:33:59,605 --> 00:34:01,163 - Let's do it. - Do what? 465 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,401 - Go after the gold! - Are you serious? 466 00:34:03,776 --> 00:34:09,237 From Las Vegas, let's go to Spencer, follow the map and see where it leads us! 467 00:34:09,315 --> 00:34:12,716 - You're getting a little excited. - You're damn right. 468 00:34:13,085 --> 00:34:15,610 This could be the opportunity of a lifetime. 469 00:34:15,754 --> 00:34:16,982 Holy... 470 00:34:17,222 --> 00:34:19,918 You are out of control. Stop and think a minute. 471 00:34:19,992 --> 00:34:22,290 Why would Curly keep something like this in his hat? 472 00:34:22,361 --> 00:34:25,489 He couldn't take a filing cabinet on the cattle drive. 473 00:34:26,565 --> 00:34:31,025 I mean, why put the map into his hat? Why didn't he go get the treasure? 474 00:34:31,103 --> 00:34:33,162 Maybe he never got around to it. 475 00:34:33,238 --> 00:34:37,265 He never got around to it? For $20,000,000 you'd budget your time. 476 00:34:39,545 --> 00:34:40,739 Mitch! 477 00:34:46,285 --> 00:34:51,348 When I saw this map, I got excited, too. But we can't just go nuts. I mean, I'm 40! 478 00:34:51,790 --> 00:34:53,587 What does that mean? 479 00:34:53,659 --> 00:34:55,149 I don't know! 480 00:34:59,798 --> 00:35:00,992 Come on! 481 00:35:01,066 --> 00:35:04,126 If you showed me what any of this has to do with Curly... 482 00:35:04,203 --> 00:35:07,434 then I would believe you. Then I would say, "It's real. " 483 00:35:07,506 --> 00:35:09,667 But you can't. So it isn't. 484 00:35:12,878 --> 00:35:14,778 Meet Lincoln Washburn. 485 00:35:24,857 --> 00:35:27,121 Hi, honey, I'm in Las Vegas. 486 00:35:27,993 --> 00:35:29,984 Yeah, at the convention. 487 00:35:30,896 --> 00:35:34,093 We're just sitting out here relaxing by the pool. 488 00:35:34,366 --> 00:35:37,335 Weather's hot, about 120... 489 00:35:37,436 --> 00:35:40,064 but dry, so you don't even notice it. 490 00:35:40,139 --> 00:35:42,801 Honey, listen, here's the thing. 491 00:35:43,142 --> 00:35:47,101 They had some sort of an electrical thing at the hotel. 492 00:35:48,247 --> 00:35:52,581 I don't know. It was a thing. The switchboard blew up. 493 00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:55,643 What the hell am I doing? 494 00:35:56,221 --> 00:35:58,951 No calls coming in, no calls going out. 495 00:35:59,458 --> 00:36:04,157 So you have to call me on the cellular, 'cause I'll have it with me every second. 496 00:36:05,097 --> 00:36:08,555 All right. So don't call the hotel... 497 00:36:09,301 --> 00:36:11,132 call me. 498 00:36:12,871 --> 00:36:16,272 I've got to go, honey. We're going to see Siegfried and Roy. 499 00:36:18,010 --> 00:36:20,103 I love you, too. 'Bye. 500 00:36:23,949 --> 00:36:25,644 You lied to her. 501 00:36:25,718 --> 00:36:28,346 What was I going to do, tell her the truth? 502 00:36:28,420 --> 00:36:32,618 That I'm jeopardizing my career to rent burros and go hunting for buried treasure? 503 00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:35,125 I'm sure she'd be real supportive. 504 00:36:36,528 --> 00:36:39,656 You know, this whole situation drips with irony. 505 00:36:40,032 --> 00:36:42,227 - Does it? - Oh, drips. 506 00:36:42,434 --> 00:36:47,394 What if it was my idea instead of yours? If I was bagging my job to hunt treasure? 507 00:36:47,473 --> 00:36:50,704 You'd be saying, "Same old crazy, irresponsible Glen. " 508 00:36:50,776 --> 00:36:54,439 But you do it and it's all right. How do you explain that? 509 00:36:54,513 --> 00:36:55,775 Listen... 510 00:36:55,914 --> 00:36:59,577 we know it's a day and a half to the gold and a day and a half back. 511 00:36:59,651 --> 00:37:01,744 We'll be back Monday, tops. 512 00:37:01,820 --> 00:37:04,618 Wait. Why are you making me feel guilty about this? 513 00:37:04,690 --> 00:37:07,420 Shouldn't you be grateful we included you? 514 00:37:07,493 --> 00:37:09,893 If it's real, your share could be $7 million... 515 00:37:09,962 --> 00:37:11,589 Everything's set. 516 00:37:12,564 --> 00:37:15,590 Good. Where's my other friend? 517 00:37:15,768 --> 00:37:18,601 He's inside, settling up with my partner. 518 00:37:18,937 --> 00:37:22,634 That's a lot of stuff for a couple days camping. Shovels, ropes... 519 00:37:22,741 --> 00:37:24,709 Well, actually... 520 00:37:24,777 --> 00:37:27,644 we're seismologists from Caltech. 521 00:37:27,946 --> 00:37:29,573 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 522 00:37:30,415 --> 00:37:33,282 Do you know anything about geology or earthquakes? 523 00:37:33,352 --> 00:37:34,341 No. 524 00:37:34,419 --> 00:37:38,321 Well, the continental plates are in a state of extreme... 525 00:37:38,490 --> 00:37:39,957 seismic tension... 526 00:37:40,025 --> 00:37:43,517 throughout this entire igneous, polygamous, Jurassic... 527 00:37:43,896 --> 00:37:45,454 Hasidic region. 528 00:37:45,898 --> 00:37:49,299 And when the plates get in that state of tension... 529 00:37:49,368 --> 00:37:51,802 what we have to do is dig down... 530 00:37:52,204 --> 00:37:53,762 and relax them. 531 00:37:55,207 --> 00:37:56,367 Golly. 532 00:37:56,608 --> 00:37:57,905 Well put. 533 00:37:57,976 --> 00:38:00,843 So there's this guy's picture in an old newspaper... 534 00:38:00,913 --> 00:38:03,939 and he looks just like the guy with the map in his hat. 535 00:38:04,049 --> 00:38:06,984 It must have been his father or his grandfather... 536 00:38:07,052 --> 00:38:10,283 but that's what convinced us the gold is really there. 537 00:38:10,355 --> 00:38:11,583 Phil. 538 00:38:12,658 --> 00:38:17,288 I don't really believe much in this treasure-hunting business... 539 00:38:17,429 --> 00:38:20,694 but I sure do wish you boys a whole lot of luck. 540 00:38:22,968 --> 00:38:26,199 - We didn't want to look stupid. - That's all right. 541 00:38:26,271 --> 00:38:29,638 A lot of you city boys come up here thinking you'll dig up some gold. 542 00:38:29,708 --> 00:38:32,006 Hell, it keeps us in business. 543 00:38:32,077 --> 00:38:35,376 - Let's get started. Thank you very much. - Oh, sure thing. 544 00:38:35,881 --> 00:38:38,509 - All right! - Now, you boys be careful. 545 00:38:38,617 --> 00:38:43,577 Turn your boots upside down at night, watch your step, watch where you squat. 546 00:38:45,757 --> 00:38:46,951 Squat? 547 00:38:47,226 --> 00:38:51,890 A city boy came here about a year ago. He was squatting to do his business... 548 00:38:51,964 --> 00:38:54,899 a rattlesnake got him right in the keister. 549 00:39:00,005 --> 00:39:02,565 See you in a couple of days, I hope. 550 00:39:03,075 --> 00:39:05,509 Did you tell him your entire life? 551 00:39:05,611 --> 00:39:07,875 - Of course not, I just... - Phil! 552 00:39:08,747 --> 00:39:11,841 I'd think twice before going back to your wife. 553 00:39:11,917 --> 00:39:15,045 It'd be like sticking your balls in a bear trap. 554 00:39:16,955 --> 00:39:19,389 That would be a bad thing, right? 555 00:39:23,762 --> 00:39:25,753 I'm joking, it's a joke. 556 00:39:28,767 --> 00:39:32,328 We should go, 'cause, look, we're in a handicapped spot. 557 00:39:38,510 --> 00:39:41,070 Gays in the military. Your thoughts? 558 00:39:44,316 --> 00:39:47,012 We'll be back after these commercial breaks. 559 00:39:47,085 --> 00:39:48,916 'Bye. Let's go, boys. 560 00:39:57,829 --> 00:39:59,126 Good luck. 561 00:39:59,197 --> 00:40:01,757 Hope you find lots and lots of gold. 562 00:40:20,819 --> 00:40:21,945 Well? 563 00:40:22,020 --> 00:40:24,318 It says, "The band plays the way. " 564 00:40:24,556 --> 00:40:26,922 What band? What's "plays the way"? 565 00:40:26,992 --> 00:40:29,756 I don't know. This is very hard to read. 566 00:40:33,165 --> 00:40:34,928 Which way is north? 567 00:40:35,500 --> 00:40:36,558 Up. 568 00:40:36,702 --> 00:40:38,636 What do you mean, "up"? 569 00:40:38,704 --> 00:40:40,968 North on the map is always up. 570 00:40:41,606 --> 00:40:43,665 So, I guess that means... 571 00:40:43,842 --> 00:40:45,469 we should go up. 572 00:40:45,978 --> 00:40:47,240 What are you saying? 573 00:40:47,312 --> 00:40:51,908 Every time you go up you're going north, and every time you go down, south? 574 00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:58,287 Now you're starting to frighten me. Hold up here. 575 00:40:59,491 --> 00:41:04,360 Maybe you should have bought a compass instead of four pounds of tortilla chips. 576 00:41:06,598 --> 00:41:08,361 Let's see. 577 00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:11,132 I can't make out anything here. 578 00:41:11,336 --> 00:41:12,803 Look at this. 579 00:41:13,438 --> 00:41:15,235 It's all written so small. 580 00:41:15,307 --> 00:41:17,707 - I know. What is this? - I don't know. 581 00:41:17,776 --> 00:41:20,677 - Give me the map. - Let Magellan have a look. 582 00:41:20,746 --> 00:41:23,214 Yes, some of us come prepared. 583 00:41:24,149 --> 00:41:26,709 Can you hold this, please? Thank you. 584 00:41:26,785 --> 00:41:28,810 Move, you're in my light. 585 00:41:33,458 --> 00:41:34,823 All right. 586 00:41:34,893 --> 00:41:37,521 Now, the sun sets in the east, right? 587 00:41:37,896 --> 00:41:40,262 No, the sun sets in the west. 588 00:41:41,366 --> 00:41:44,563 That's if you're in the East. But we are way out West now... 589 00:41:44,636 --> 00:41:49,403 - so we are past where the sun sets. - You can't be past where the sun sets. 590 00:41:49,474 --> 00:41:53,205 And if you think you can, then I am directly south of an idiot. 591 00:41:53,278 --> 00:41:55,178 - Which is down. - Right. 592 00:41:56,915 --> 00:42:01,079 Speaking of idiots, it doesn't say, "The band plays the way. " 593 00:42:01,153 --> 00:42:03,178 It says, "The hand points the way. " 594 00:42:03,255 --> 00:42:05,348 That's a lot better, what does that mean? 595 00:42:08,994 --> 00:42:11,258 - The hand points the way. - Yes. 596 00:42:19,838 --> 00:42:21,829 The hand points the way. 597 00:42:22,374 --> 00:42:24,137 Look, it's the hand! 598 00:42:24,209 --> 00:42:27,042 The hand points the way. The map is real! 599 00:42:29,114 --> 00:42:31,105 Look at it! Here it is! 600 00:42:31,183 --> 00:42:32,844 It's real! 601 00:42:33,819 --> 00:42:35,810 The hand points the way. 602 00:42:38,356 --> 00:42:39,721 All right! 603 00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:44,521 We're going to get the gold! 604 00:42:47,399 --> 00:42:48,627 What are you doing? 605 00:42:48,700 --> 00:42:52,101 I'm doing Walter Huston's dance from Treasure of the Sierra Madre. 606 00:42:52,170 --> 00:42:56,004 Oh, yeah. He found the gold and he did the dance. I loved it. 607 00:42:57,576 --> 00:42:59,601 Rich, boys. We'll be rich. 608 00:42:59,878 --> 00:43:00,970 It's real! 609 00:43:02,414 --> 00:43:04,245 The map is real! 610 00:43:04,950 --> 00:43:06,611 The map is on fire! 611 00:43:06,685 --> 00:43:08,482 - It's on fire! - Shit! 612 00:43:09,121 --> 00:43:11,521 Get it. Oh, no! 613 00:43:15,894 --> 00:43:17,191 I got it! 614 00:43:28,240 --> 00:43:29,537 Watch it! 615 00:43:48,493 --> 00:43:49,983 Chiropractor. 616 00:43:50,529 --> 00:43:51,587 Twelve. 617 00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:55,622 Unbelievable. 618 00:43:56,401 --> 00:43:57,595 Also 12. 619 00:43:57,669 --> 00:43:59,728 - How do you do that? - Fourteen. 620 00:44:00,238 --> 00:44:02,832 No, I'm really asking you, how do you do that? 621 00:44:04,576 --> 00:44:08,535 I don't know, I automatically see how many letters there are in every word. 622 00:44:08,613 --> 00:44:10,740 My brother, the Rain Man. 623 00:44:12,184 --> 00:44:13,674 Wayne Newton. 624 00:44:13,752 --> 00:44:14,810 Eleven. 625 00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:17,013 Yeah, definitely 11. 626 00:44:19,391 --> 00:44:20,949 Let me ask you: 627 00:44:21,026 --> 00:44:25,019 If I'd actually died today, would you still be playing this game? 628 00:44:25,730 --> 00:44:29,166 Mitch, it's over. You're okay. Everybody's okay. 629 00:44:29,501 --> 00:44:31,765 I know, I'm sorry, I'm just... 630 00:44:32,304 --> 00:44:36,400 I'm just a little petrified of heights, which is why I'm not tall. 631 00:44:36,675 --> 00:44:38,040 Listen, Phil. 632 00:44:38,109 --> 00:44:42,409 I'm making you a copy of the map in case something like this happens again. 633 00:44:44,249 --> 00:44:46,911 So Phil gets a copy, but not me. 634 00:44:47,786 --> 00:44:49,913 We don't need three copies. 635 00:44:51,523 --> 00:44:54,617 But why, automatically, does Phil get the copy? 636 00:44:54,693 --> 00:44:56,684 Well, because... 637 00:44:59,664 --> 00:45:00,858 I see. 638 00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:04,462 - What does that mean? - It means I see. 639 00:45:06,671 --> 00:45:09,367 - Where are you going? - I'm going to bed. 640 00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:16,513 Listen, Phil. 641 00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:20,715 Is it okay with you if Glen gets the copy? 642 00:45:21,586 --> 00:45:23,747 - Fine. - Thank you. 643 00:45:25,023 --> 00:45:28,288 I've already given him $7 million, why not a map? 644 00:45:28,460 --> 00:45:32,920 Okay, here we go. I told you, I had already invited him to Las Vegas. 645 00:45:33,198 --> 00:45:34,756 What could I say to him? 646 00:45:34,833 --> 00:45:37,529 "Stand by that roulette table, we'll be back in three days"? 647 00:45:37,602 --> 00:45:38,591 It was awkward. 648 00:45:38,670 --> 00:45:42,037 I know he's your brother and I know he's a nice guy... 649 00:45:42,107 --> 00:45:45,975 but I've got this terrible feeling he'll do something to screw this up. 650 00:45:46,044 --> 00:45:48,308 He already set fire to the map. 651 00:45:48,380 --> 00:45:51,577 I know. I'll watch him. I'll be responsible for him. 652 00:45:51,650 --> 00:45:54,551 I don't want anything to mess this up. It's too important. 653 00:45:54,619 --> 00:45:57,554 Don't worry. So far, so good. We're having a great time. 654 00:45:57,622 --> 00:45:59,249 I almost got killed today. 655 00:46:37,996 --> 00:46:39,657 I made you a map. 656 00:46:40,799 --> 00:46:42,061 You did? 657 00:46:42,367 --> 00:46:44,801 Yeah, I put it in your saddlebag. 658 00:46:45,136 --> 00:46:46,364 Thanks. 659 00:46:50,809 --> 00:46:54,540 It means a lot to me that you brought me along on this thing. 660 00:46:54,612 --> 00:46:57,638 - Look, come on. - No, I mean it, you know. 661 00:46:58,149 --> 00:47:00,083 It reminds me of... 662 00:47:00,685 --> 00:47:04,553 Remember when Mom would force you to take me to the movies with your friends? 663 00:47:04,622 --> 00:47:06,089 She never forced me. 664 00:47:06,157 --> 00:47:10,059 She'd just say if I didn't, she'd hang herself with the good towels. 665 00:47:14,232 --> 00:47:16,700 But you were really nice about it. 666 00:47:17,235 --> 00:47:21,001 I remember you gave me my own personal box of Milk Duds... 667 00:47:21,072 --> 00:47:23,632 and you'd take me to the bathroom... 668 00:47:24,676 --> 00:47:26,803 during the best part of the movie. 669 00:47:27,879 --> 00:47:29,847 And you let me sit next to you. 670 00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:36,710 Can I ask you something? 671 00:47:36,788 --> 00:47:37,880 Sure. 672 00:47:37,956 --> 00:47:39,514 What do you do? 673 00:47:40,024 --> 00:47:41,514 What do I do? 674 00:47:41,726 --> 00:47:44,661 Sometimes we don't hear from you for months. 675 00:47:46,297 --> 00:47:48,128 I do a lot of things. 676 00:47:48,433 --> 00:47:49,923 Sales, mostly. 677 00:47:51,536 --> 00:47:54,198 For a while I was an animal detective. 678 00:47:54,406 --> 00:47:59,309 What is that? A poodle calls and says, "My wife's fooling around with a bulldog"? 679 00:48:00,845 --> 00:48:01,903 No. 680 00:48:02,814 --> 00:48:06,250 Once, by accident, I found a dog and called the owner. 681 00:48:06,317 --> 00:48:08,979 He gave me $100. So I made a business out of it. 682 00:48:09,053 --> 00:48:12,147 I'd find lost dogs and call the owners. People paid big ransom. 683 00:48:12,223 --> 00:48:15,624 - Ransom! My God... - "Ransom" is a bad choice of words. 684 00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:19,555 That's the word they used in court, but I'm still fighting it. 685 00:48:19,631 --> 00:48:21,121 Good for you. 686 00:48:25,203 --> 00:48:27,034 There's Phil's horse. 687 00:48:28,039 --> 00:48:29,529 Where's Phil? 688 00:48:38,183 --> 00:48:40,845 - You all right? - I'll just be a second. 689 00:48:40,919 --> 00:48:42,318 Yeah, right. 690 00:48:47,926 --> 00:48:51,020 He must be having trouble. Relax, don't strain! 691 00:48:58,303 --> 00:48:59,702 Oh, my God. 692 00:49:02,307 --> 00:49:04,298 Too many tortilla chips. 693 00:49:04,375 --> 00:49:06,275 I was bit by a rattler! 694 00:49:06,377 --> 00:49:07,810 Mitch, help! 695 00:49:08,146 --> 00:49:09,408 A snake! 696 00:49:12,383 --> 00:49:13,748 A rattler! 697 00:49:14,185 --> 00:49:17,484 He bit me on the ass. God, I'm going to die! 698 00:49:19,090 --> 00:49:20,114 Hold on. 699 00:49:20,191 --> 00:49:23,024 Somebody, suck out the poison. Please! 700 00:49:23,862 --> 00:49:27,764 - He's your friend. - Yeah, but you slept with his sister. 701 00:49:27,832 --> 00:49:29,732 I'm losing feeling. 702 00:49:29,968 --> 00:49:32,698 Can't we wait till the poison travels up? 703 00:49:32,770 --> 00:49:35,295 I understand. Glen, suck on his ass. 704 00:49:35,373 --> 00:49:36,499 What? 705 00:49:36,808 --> 00:49:38,332 I can't speak. 706 00:49:38,510 --> 00:49:40,171 My tongue's numb. 707 00:49:40,245 --> 00:49:44,306 I've done you a million favors, and one time I ask you to do something... 708 00:49:44,382 --> 00:49:48,580 And the one time is sucking poison out of your friend's ass? Forget it! 709 00:49:48,653 --> 00:49:50,018 I'm blind. 710 00:49:50,722 --> 00:49:52,246 Where are you? 711 00:49:52,924 --> 00:49:54,824 I'm here, Phil. 712 00:49:55,293 --> 00:49:59,559 Don't worry, Phil, I'm going to do it. But I am not going to forget this, Glen. 713 00:50:02,634 --> 00:50:04,261 Mitch, please... 714 00:50:04,435 --> 00:50:07,199 don't tell my kids I died taking a shit. 715 00:50:08,039 --> 00:50:09,165 Okay. 716 00:50:13,378 --> 00:50:14,402 Hurry. 717 00:50:21,819 --> 00:50:23,810 Would you suck, already? 718 00:50:29,694 --> 00:50:31,685 That is not a snakebite. 719 00:50:34,933 --> 00:50:36,764 You sat on a cactus. 720 00:50:41,739 --> 00:50:43,536 You sat on a cactus. 721 00:50:45,977 --> 00:50:50,676 I felt the sting, I saw that snake, and I remembered what those guys said... 722 00:50:52,383 --> 00:50:54,510 I though I was really going to die. 723 00:50:54,586 --> 00:50:57,817 - It's over, you're okay. - You were going to do it. 724 00:50:58,056 --> 00:51:00,456 You were going to suck on my ass. 725 00:51:00,858 --> 00:51:02,223 It's over. 726 00:51:02,827 --> 00:51:05,193 - You're my friend, Mitch. - Sure I am. 727 00:51:05,263 --> 00:51:07,322 You really care about me! 728 00:51:11,302 --> 00:51:12,929 It's okay, Phil. 729 00:51:15,607 --> 00:51:17,734 He gets a little emotional. 730 00:51:25,750 --> 00:51:27,718 We used to be that close. 731 00:51:27,785 --> 00:51:29,184 Oh, God. 732 00:51:56,414 --> 00:51:58,211 Let's get that gold! 733 00:51:58,816 --> 00:52:00,716 I want that gold! 734 00:52:04,722 --> 00:52:07,282 "This is the business we've chosen. " 735 00:52:25,443 --> 00:52:28,742 Batting third, and playing center field... 736 00:52:29,013 --> 00:52:31,675 Number 7, Mickey Mantle. 737 00:52:34,786 --> 00:52:36,219 I can't see. 738 00:52:42,026 --> 00:52:44,290 How does the TV know what to record? 739 00:52:44,429 --> 00:52:47,887 Because you've told the VCR, and once you tell the VCR... 740 00:52:47,965 --> 00:52:50,661 - It tells it? - Yeah, you don't tell the TV anything. 741 00:52:50,735 --> 00:52:52,794 The VCR does all the work. 742 00:52:54,205 --> 00:52:56,765 It's a great convention, honey. I love... 743 00:52:57,041 --> 00:52:58,235 Hello? 744 00:53:33,544 --> 00:53:36,445 Phil, is this beef jerky or turkey jerky? 745 00:53:36,614 --> 00:53:38,241 Does it really matter? 746 00:53:38,883 --> 00:53:40,851 How do they make it, anyway? 747 00:53:40,952 --> 00:53:43,477 Jerky? It's an interesting process. 748 00:53:43,554 --> 00:53:45,818 Take a really good piece of meat... 749 00:53:45,890 --> 00:53:49,621 then a New York City cab driver sits on it for four months. 750 00:53:53,498 --> 00:53:57,662 How will those two laughing idiots we rented this stuff from feel... 751 00:53:57,735 --> 00:54:00,169 when we bring back all that gold? 752 00:54:01,506 --> 00:54:05,943 The looks on those faces, those tobacco-chewing, gun-rack-having... 753 00:54:06,310 --> 00:54:11,270 chicken-screwing, sister-marrying, abandoned-toilet-seat-in-the-yard-having... 754 00:54:11,349 --> 00:54:13,909 vitamin-deficiencied, ugly faces. 755 00:54:14,552 --> 00:54:16,850 They're behind me, aren't they? 756 00:54:18,923 --> 00:54:20,550 Howdy, boys. 757 00:54:25,329 --> 00:54:29,095 What a coincidence. We were just talking about you. 758 00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:31,600 - What are you doing here? - We followed you. 759 00:54:31,669 --> 00:54:35,070 Isn't that nice, huh? Talk about service. 760 00:54:35,139 --> 00:54:38,540 Everything is great. The equipment, the food... 761 00:54:38,609 --> 00:54:42,705 That jerky, forget about it. Better than Mom's, but she used onions... 762 00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:44,372 We want the map! 763 00:54:45,149 --> 00:54:46,173 Map? 764 00:54:46,250 --> 00:54:49,151 The one old Stretch there told us about. 765 00:54:49,287 --> 00:54:50,811 Oh, the map. 766 00:54:53,658 --> 00:54:58,152 Like you said, we're like all those dumb city boys who come looking for treasure. 767 00:54:59,564 --> 00:55:00,588 Nope. 768 00:55:00,665 --> 00:55:05,159 This cowboy kept this map in his hat, and that means it was something special. 769 00:55:05,870 --> 00:55:08,930 - And if his daddy did that holdup... - We want that map! 770 00:55:09,006 --> 00:55:12,169 - Don't make us look for it. - Fellas, come on now. 771 00:55:13,644 --> 00:55:16,579 I know what you're feeling, I've been there. 772 00:55:17,481 --> 00:55:19,108 I'm still there. 773 00:55:19,350 --> 00:55:21,978 You feel like you have no control over your life... 774 00:55:22,053 --> 00:55:24,021 that nothing makes sense... 775 00:55:24,088 --> 00:55:26,022 It's in the saddle bag. 776 00:55:34,565 --> 00:55:38,296 Come on, you can't leave us like this. We won't make any trouble. 777 00:55:38,369 --> 00:55:42,863 We've got families, we've got kids. Let us go and we'll forget the whole thing. 778 00:55:42,940 --> 00:55:45,033 - Absolutely. - Not me. 779 00:55:45,109 --> 00:55:47,441 If I ever see either of you, I'll kill you! 780 00:55:47,511 --> 00:55:49,240 Will you shut up? 781 00:55:49,313 --> 00:55:50,575 Pig-boy! 782 00:55:57,221 --> 00:56:00,088 That's my wife. I really should take this. 783 00:56:00,157 --> 00:56:03,183 So if you'd just pull it out and press "Send"? 784 00:56:10,101 --> 00:56:13,298 Looks like you won't be talking to her after all. 785 00:56:14,839 --> 00:56:16,466 All right, look... 786 00:56:16,774 --> 00:56:18,571 you got two choices. 787 00:56:18,676 --> 00:56:22,442 We can leave you here, and animals will smell your flesh burning in the sun... 788 00:56:22,513 --> 00:56:25,607 and will come down here and chew you up pretty bad. 789 00:56:25,683 --> 00:56:26,741 Or? 790 00:56:27,051 --> 00:56:29,781 We can shoot you in the head right now. 791 00:56:30,922 --> 00:56:33,288 I think we shoot them right now. 792 00:56:33,691 --> 00:56:35,682 Got any last words? 793 00:57:10,494 --> 00:57:13,156 Curly, I knew it! You're alive! 794 00:57:16,934 --> 00:57:20,165 I swear, we thought you were dead. We didn't know. 795 00:57:20,972 --> 00:57:22,496 Please, Curly. 796 00:57:25,076 --> 00:57:28,477 I'm sorry we buried you, but you looked so dead. 797 00:57:30,381 --> 00:57:31,871 Sorry, Curly. 798 00:57:32,016 --> 00:57:33,950 I'm not Curly. 799 00:57:35,619 --> 00:57:36,916 I'm Duke. 800 00:57:38,189 --> 00:57:39,315 Duke? 801 00:57:39,557 --> 00:57:41,388 Curly was my brother. 802 00:57:42,460 --> 00:57:43,927 Your brother? 803 00:57:45,429 --> 00:57:46,691 Brother? 804 00:57:48,366 --> 00:57:49,856 The other night... 805 00:57:49,934 --> 00:57:52,926 it was you on the train to New Rochelle, wasn't it? 806 00:57:53,004 --> 00:57:54,096 Yeah. 807 00:57:54,171 --> 00:57:58,335 And I was outside your window that night. You have a lovely home. 808 00:57:58,476 --> 00:58:01,968 Thank you, we did a lot of work. Where you were used to be a tool shed. 809 00:58:02,046 --> 00:58:04,776 The other side was a total disaster. The wood rot... 810 00:58:04,849 --> 00:58:06,908 Where is my brother's map? 811 00:58:07,051 --> 00:58:09,451 The map. They got the map. 812 00:58:09,653 --> 00:58:11,314 You gave them... 813 00:58:11,389 --> 00:58:14,449 - You gave them my brother's map? - No, it's okay. 814 00:58:14,525 --> 00:58:17,085 - They don't have the real map. - What? 815 00:58:17,261 --> 00:58:20,230 What do you mean? It's the map you gave me. 816 00:58:20,297 --> 00:58:23,664 I didn't make you a real copy, I changed it. 817 00:58:23,834 --> 00:58:26,325 - Why? - In case something like this happened. 818 00:58:26,404 --> 00:58:27,996 You didn't trust me. 819 00:58:28,072 --> 00:58:31,940 I drew you a copy that led to the highway! I wanted you to be safe. 820 00:58:32,009 --> 00:58:34,944 No! You thought I'd sneak off and steal the gold. 821 00:58:35,012 --> 00:58:36,707 No, I didn't. L... 822 00:58:39,183 --> 00:58:41,617 Would you two pixies knock it off? 823 00:58:43,854 --> 00:58:46,379 Where's the damn map? 824 00:58:57,234 --> 00:58:59,634 What the hell are you staring at? 825 00:58:59,837 --> 00:59:02,635 Curly's twin, I can't get over it. 826 00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:04,769 Well, get over it... 827 00:59:04,842 --> 00:59:07,208 or I'll turn you into twins. 828 00:59:09,146 --> 00:59:10,511 Oh, I see. 829 00:59:14,351 --> 00:59:19,345 That piece was missing when we found it. And I accidentally burned that hole. 830 00:59:23,427 --> 00:59:27,261 Can't tell you how often my daddy put me and my brother on his knees... 831 00:59:27,364 --> 00:59:29,594 and told us about this treasure. 832 00:59:29,667 --> 00:59:32,761 He said we'd all go out together when the time was ripe... 833 00:59:32,837 --> 00:59:36,364 - when they weren't watching him. - Why did you wait so long? 834 00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:38,567 If Curly had the map, why didn't you... 835 00:59:38,642 --> 00:59:41,702 We didn't know there was a map till a year ago. 836 00:59:43,881 --> 00:59:45,371 Our mom died. 837 00:59:46,450 --> 00:59:47,849 She was 95. 838 00:59:49,420 --> 00:59:51,354 Stabbed at a bar fight. 839 00:59:55,259 --> 00:59:57,750 She gave Curly the map on her deathbed. 840 00:59:57,828 --> 01:00:01,764 He wrote to me, told me to come home, that we'd be rich. 841 01:00:01,832 --> 01:00:05,233 Till then, he was going to keep it under his hat. 842 01:00:05,736 --> 01:00:07,294 Where were you? 843 01:00:08,205 --> 01:00:09,968 You writing a book? 844 01:00:10,541 --> 01:00:11,599 No. 845 01:00:13,410 --> 01:00:15,435 By the time I got back... 846 01:00:15,579 --> 01:00:18,013 Curly had died on a cattle drive. 847 01:00:20,151 --> 01:00:22,119 Dumb son-of-a-bitch. 848 01:00:23,821 --> 01:00:25,584 His pal, Cookie... 849 01:00:26,123 --> 01:00:29,957 told me that you had his hat, so I came looking for you. 850 01:00:30,161 --> 01:00:31,628 Found you, didn't I? 851 01:00:31,695 --> 01:00:35,825 Why didn't you just knock and tell me? Why did you scare the life out of me? 852 01:00:35,900 --> 01:00:38,494 Because I didn't know what kind of guy you were. 853 01:00:38,569 --> 01:00:41,538 And I wasn't sure you knew about the map. 854 01:00:41,605 --> 01:00:43,232 If you didn't... 855 01:00:43,340 --> 01:00:45,706 I sure wasn't going to tell you. 856 01:00:45,976 --> 01:00:49,969 Then you came out here, I figured I'd let you do all the work... 857 01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:52,344 and then just take it from you. 858 01:00:54,051 --> 01:00:56,519 You guys ought to head back to town. 859 01:00:56,587 --> 01:00:58,817 Back, what do you mean, back? 860 01:00:59,657 --> 01:01:02,387 Your mommies will be worried about you. 861 01:01:04,295 --> 01:01:06,058 Thanks for the map. 862 01:01:07,598 --> 01:01:09,930 Hey, wait a second, you can't... 863 01:01:10,501 --> 01:01:11,991 I can't what? 864 01:01:14,872 --> 01:01:16,134 Nothing. 865 01:01:35,459 --> 01:01:37,222 That's it, I guess. 866 01:01:56,213 --> 01:01:57,737 What the hell do you want? 867 01:01:57,815 --> 01:02:01,216 You may look like Curly, but you're nothing like him. 868 01:02:04,088 --> 01:02:06,750 Curly was a good man, a decent man. 869 01:02:06,890 --> 01:02:08,414 He had dignity. 870 01:02:08,492 --> 01:02:12,155 He wouldn't like to see you treating his friends like this. 871 01:02:12,229 --> 01:02:14,493 - You were his friend? - Yeah. 872 01:02:14,565 --> 01:02:16,863 As a matter of fact, he changed my whole life. 873 01:02:16,934 --> 01:02:20,495 I was really confused, and he told me that one thing... 874 01:02:21,205 --> 01:02:23,537 He told you about that one thing? 875 01:02:23,607 --> 01:02:26,838 Yeah. And if he was here and saw what you were doing... 876 01:02:26,910 --> 01:02:29,378 he would kick the living shit out of you. 877 01:02:31,148 --> 01:02:33,878 So, Curly told you about the one thing. 878 01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:38,454 He must have liked you. 879 01:02:38,989 --> 01:02:40,217 He did. 880 01:02:46,964 --> 01:02:49,262 You and your friends want to ride along... 881 01:02:49,333 --> 01:02:50,800 As partners? 882 01:02:50,868 --> 01:02:54,736 Hell, half of what's up there is more than I'll ever need. 883 01:02:55,005 --> 01:02:56,131 Half? 884 01:02:56,507 --> 01:03:00,170 You mean, you get a half and the three of us have to split a half? 885 01:03:02,479 --> 01:03:05,209 Which is fine. I'll go along with that. 886 01:03:06,784 --> 01:03:08,752 Just remember something. 887 01:03:08,819 --> 01:03:11,287 Don't mess with us, pal. We're from New York. 888 01:03:16,558 --> 01:03:19,186 You ever talk to me like that again... 889 01:03:19,260 --> 01:03:21,421 and I'll turn your balls... 890 01:03:21,596 --> 01:03:24,326 into earrings. Understand? 891 01:03:25,433 --> 01:03:26,798 Go for it. 892 01:03:33,174 --> 01:03:36,337 We're close. Less than a day. 893 01:03:37,846 --> 01:03:41,338 Can you hear it? That's the gold, it's singing to us: 894 01:03:41,516 --> 01:03:43,211 "Come and get me. " 895 01:03:46,888 --> 01:03:49,550 Curly was wrong, there are two things. 896 01:03:50,325 --> 01:03:52,486 Whatever the hell this is... 897 01:03:53,128 --> 01:03:55,153 and gold. 898 01:03:58,233 --> 01:03:59,860 Let's go get it. 899 01:04:25,426 --> 01:04:30,090 Phil, you won't meet women sitting at home reading those Time-Life books. 900 01:04:30,165 --> 01:04:31,757 You gotta get out, go places. 901 01:04:31,833 --> 01:04:34,700 If a woman wants someone like me, she goes to the pound... 902 01:04:34,769 --> 01:04:37,329 and gets herself a three-legged dog. 903 01:04:38,173 --> 01:04:40,573 If this isn't too personal a question... 904 01:04:40,642 --> 01:04:43,509 when's the last time you were with a woman? 905 01:04:45,180 --> 01:04:46,477 Saturday. 906 01:04:46,648 --> 01:04:48,639 Saturday will be a year. 907 01:04:50,318 --> 01:04:52,912 If I'd known I would have gotten you a cake. 908 01:04:52,987 --> 01:04:54,386 Who was she? 909 01:04:54,455 --> 01:04:57,754 - This girl I met on the cattle drive. - Bonnie. 910 01:04:57,825 --> 01:04:59,656 Right, Bonnie. She was cute. 911 01:04:59,827 --> 01:05:02,022 She was really sweet, too, but... 912 01:05:02,096 --> 01:05:06,294 I was two weeks out of my marriage. I was just a huge sack of tears. 913 01:05:06,467 --> 01:05:08,765 Wonder if I still know how to do it? 914 01:05:08,836 --> 01:05:12,772 Come on, it's like riding a bicycle, only you're naked. 915 01:05:12,840 --> 01:05:16,833 Speaking of which, did you ever walk in on our parents doing it? 916 01:05:17,145 --> 01:05:18,203 No. 917 01:05:18,746 --> 01:05:20,509 - Why, did you? - Yes. 918 01:05:24,586 --> 01:05:26,611 - Really? - Worst thing I've ever seen. 919 01:05:26,688 --> 01:05:29,054 It's a horrible thing for a little kid to see. 920 01:05:29,123 --> 01:05:31,353 This was three weeks ago, in Florida. 921 01:05:32,227 --> 01:05:35,025 - Did you walk into the bedroom? - It was in the kitchen. 922 01:05:36,564 --> 01:05:39,965 Apparently it was spontaneous, because Pop still had his hat on... 923 01:05:40,034 --> 01:05:43,060 the one with fake grass and a golf ball. It was horrible. 924 01:05:43,137 --> 01:05:45,901 Wax fruit flying every place, dog barking... 925 01:05:45,974 --> 01:05:48,772 my kids' pictures flapping up and down on the refrigerator. 926 01:05:48,943 --> 01:05:51,571 - Okay, stop it. - Pop was working hard. 927 01:05:52,880 --> 01:05:55,713 Enough of that, did you take the car in? 928 01:05:55,783 --> 01:05:57,808 I think that's beautiful. 929 01:05:58,119 --> 01:05:59,450 Not from my angle. 930 01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:02,978 Two people in love after all those years, that's great. 931 01:06:03,057 --> 01:06:05,890 Great? An hour later we ate on that table. 932 01:06:24,612 --> 01:06:25,909 You okay? 933 01:06:27,715 --> 01:06:31,651 - First time on a horse in 50 years. - What? But you're a cowboy. 934 01:06:33,087 --> 01:06:36,716 I was born around here, but left when I was 15. 935 01:06:36,958 --> 01:06:38,619 Where did you go? 936 01:06:39,127 --> 01:06:40,651 World War II. 937 01:06:40,928 --> 01:06:43,590 Lied about my age and joined the Navy. 938 01:06:44,365 --> 01:06:47,129 First look at the big blue. After the war... 939 01:06:47,235 --> 01:06:51,103 Merchant Marine, charter boats, anything to stay on the ocean. 940 01:06:53,174 --> 01:06:56,007 Been around the world 21 times. 941 01:06:56,911 --> 01:06:59,243 Curly loved the land. 942 01:06:59,347 --> 01:07:00,974 I loved the sea. 943 01:07:01,582 --> 01:07:03,914 So you're like surf and turf. 944 01:07:06,020 --> 01:07:08,147 - You thought that was funny? - No. 945 01:07:08,556 --> 01:07:10,922 I'm just thinking what I'd like to do to you. 946 01:07:28,643 --> 01:07:29,667 Look at that. 947 01:07:31,579 --> 01:07:33,706 Look at how great he looks. 948 01:07:34,215 --> 01:07:35,910 Majestic, you know? 949 01:07:35,983 --> 01:07:39,783 I had a dream about a horse like this. I want to ride alongside him. 950 01:07:39,887 --> 01:07:40,876 Why? 951 01:07:40,955 --> 01:07:43,583 To see what it's like riding alongside a wild animal. 952 01:07:43,658 --> 01:07:45,888 It's like going on vacation with Arlene. 953 01:07:49,030 --> 01:07:50,122 Come on. 954 01:08:59,567 --> 01:09:01,194 Where did he go? 955 01:09:20,321 --> 01:09:21,447 Shit! 956 01:09:27,061 --> 01:09:28,653 Where did he go? 957 01:09:30,565 --> 01:09:31,759 Quiet. 958 01:09:39,574 --> 01:09:41,804 - What is that? - It's an earthquake. 959 01:09:43,377 --> 01:09:44,742 Go! Go! 960 01:09:44,946 --> 01:09:47,414 He's got friends, get out of here! 961 01:09:50,017 --> 01:09:51,314 Stampede! 962 01:09:55,490 --> 01:09:56,855 Holy shit! 963 01:10:06,467 --> 01:10:07,729 Go! Go! 964 01:10:09,937 --> 01:10:12,872 Let's head for the trees. Come on, go! 965 01:10:19,647 --> 01:10:21,274 Let's go, come on. 966 01:10:32,093 --> 01:10:33,560 Oh, no! Duke! 967 01:10:41,202 --> 01:10:44,035 - I lost the goddamn... - Forget the map, come on! 968 01:10:44,272 --> 01:10:46,968 - Son-of-a-bitch! - Let's get out of here! 969 01:10:54,615 --> 01:10:56,446 I'm going after Glen. 970 01:10:57,285 --> 01:10:58,411 Help! 971 01:11:00,988 --> 01:11:01,977 Mitch! 972 01:11:20,374 --> 01:11:21,363 Help! 973 01:11:23,411 --> 01:11:24,776 I'm coming! 974 01:11:27,148 --> 01:11:29,673 - Pull them up! - Which ones? 975 01:11:29,750 --> 01:11:32,184 Get to the front and pull them up! 976 01:11:33,354 --> 01:11:34,582 I can't! 977 01:11:42,730 --> 01:11:43,856 Mitch! 978 01:11:48,102 --> 01:11:49,228 One... 979 01:11:49,303 --> 01:11:50,463 two... 980 01:11:59,614 --> 01:12:00,603 Mitch! 981 01:12:07,455 --> 01:12:09,184 What are you doing? 982 01:12:09,790 --> 01:12:11,917 I'm saving you, you schmuck. 983 01:12:19,133 --> 01:12:21,465 Glen, the wagon's coming apart! 984 01:12:21,769 --> 01:12:24,294 - What? - You'll have to jump. 985 01:12:44,058 --> 01:12:46,822 We're coming to the edge, you've got to jump now! 986 01:12:46,894 --> 01:12:48,589 - I can't! - Jump! 987 01:12:48,663 --> 01:12:50,995 - I can't! - You pain in the ass... 988 01:12:51,265 --> 01:12:55,463 listen to me, for once. Get your fat ass out here, and jump now! 989 01:12:55,836 --> 01:12:57,599 Come on, jump... 990 01:12:58,372 --> 01:12:59,566 now! 991 01:13:03,477 --> 01:13:06,742 - Mitch, do something! - Hold on! 992 01:13:55,930 --> 01:13:58,330 - Are you okay? - Yeah. 993 01:14:00,634 --> 01:14:02,101 Are you okay? 994 01:14:02,770 --> 01:14:03,759 Yeah. 995 01:14:08,309 --> 01:14:10,038 You can let go now. 996 01:14:11,712 --> 01:14:12,804 Soon. 997 01:14:35,369 --> 01:14:37,064 You saved my life! 998 01:14:37,938 --> 01:14:40,839 You are amazing! And the way you did it... 999 01:14:42,409 --> 01:14:46,243 This is a whole lot different than just sucking on Phil's ass. 1000 01:14:48,516 --> 01:14:49,847 Excuse me? 1001 01:14:51,218 --> 01:14:52,845 Did I hear right? 1002 01:14:53,187 --> 01:14:56,748 - Yeah, Phil thought that a snake bit him... - I don't care. 1003 01:14:59,193 --> 01:15:01,218 Now, whatever went on before... 1004 01:15:01,595 --> 01:15:03,256 stops now. 1005 01:15:06,467 --> 01:15:08,401 Is this real bad? 1006 01:15:08,769 --> 01:15:10,361 It looks like... 1007 01:15:10,604 --> 01:15:13,300 you spent the night with a Singapore hooker. 1008 01:15:13,374 --> 01:15:15,001 Great, that's it. 1009 01:15:18,112 --> 01:15:19,374 I'm dead. 1010 01:15:19,446 --> 01:15:22,643 - They're just scratches. - No, you don't get it. 1011 01:15:22,983 --> 01:15:24,712 Barbara can't reach me. 1012 01:15:24,785 --> 01:15:27,049 By now, she's called the hotel in Vegas... 1013 01:15:27,121 --> 01:15:31,182 and realized that I've been lying to her. Then I return with scratches on my back? 1014 01:15:31,258 --> 01:15:33,123 That's it, it is over. I'm divorced. 1015 01:15:33,194 --> 01:15:37,062 By this time next week, I'll be having a candlelit dinner with Phil. 1016 01:15:37,131 --> 01:15:40,157 Well, pick a night, 'cause the map is gone. 1017 01:15:42,670 --> 01:15:46,106 Everything's been trampled: The food, tents, sleeping bags... 1018 01:15:46,173 --> 01:15:47,640 What's left? 1019 01:15:47,741 --> 01:15:50,733 Three miner's helmets and a tube of Chap Stick. 1020 01:15:50,811 --> 01:15:52,676 What's the difference? 1021 01:15:53,781 --> 01:15:56,614 The only thing that mattered was that map. 1022 01:16:04,024 --> 01:16:06,458 - This is all my fault. - Your fault? 1023 01:16:06,927 --> 01:16:08,394 I dropped it. 1024 01:16:08,462 --> 01:16:12,228 You wouldn't have, if I hadn't frolicked with some stallion. 1025 01:16:15,102 --> 01:16:16,694 I'm sorry, Duke. 1026 01:16:17,037 --> 01:16:18,664 I'm really sorry. 1027 01:16:19,940 --> 01:16:24,604 If we don't get lost, will we make it back to town before we starve to death? 1028 01:16:25,112 --> 01:16:27,672 It's only a day and a half. I can use every second... 1029 01:16:27,748 --> 01:16:30,148 to think of another lie to tell Barbara. 1030 01:16:31,185 --> 01:16:33,050 If you guys go home... 1031 01:16:33,354 --> 01:16:36,084 I'm not splitting the treasure with you. 1032 01:16:36,156 --> 01:16:40,786 - What? You're not coming back with us? - No. The gold is that way. 1033 01:16:40,861 --> 01:16:45,093 Yes, but the grand-slam pancake breakfast at the Mirage is that way. 1034 01:16:45,332 --> 01:16:47,232 Duke, we've got no map. 1035 01:16:47,835 --> 01:16:51,066 What will you do? Wander around hoping to stumble onto the gold? 1036 01:16:51,138 --> 01:16:52,366 Something like that. 1037 01:16:52,439 --> 01:16:55,840 Please don't take this the wrong way, but you're insane. 1038 01:16:56,410 --> 01:17:00,312 Insane is coming this far and then just going back. 1039 01:17:04,385 --> 01:17:07,013 If you guys want to go home, go ahead. 1040 01:17:07,855 --> 01:17:09,482 But, that gold... 1041 01:17:13,127 --> 01:17:15,652 That's the only dream I've got left. 1042 01:17:21,402 --> 01:17:23,495 "Over the buffalo's back... 1043 01:17:23,771 --> 01:17:26,001 "and under the frozen people. " 1044 01:17:26,340 --> 01:17:27,432 What? 1045 01:17:28,742 --> 01:17:31,575 "Over the buffalo's back and under the frozen people! " 1046 01:17:31,645 --> 01:17:33,135 That's the rest of the map. 1047 01:17:34,848 --> 01:17:38,045 How do you know? You never even saw the real map. 1048 01:17:38,118 --> 01:17:42,248 I saw it yesterday for a minute when we were looking for the hand. 1049 01:17:43,490 --> 01:17:48,086 This isn't memorizing a movie, or telling how many letters are in "falafel". 1050 01:17:48,162 --> 01:17:50,187 Seven. Now, I'm telling you... 1051 01:17:50,264 --> 01:17:52,698 that gold will be in our hands by tomorrow night. 1052 01:17:52,766 --> 01:17:54,700 I can draw you the exact map. 1053 01:17:54,768 --> 01:17:58,067 I can get us there. All you have to do is trust me. 1054 01:18:01,141 --> 01:18:02,631 Mitch, please... 1055 01:18:02,710 --> 01:18:04,678 for once in your life... 1056 01:18:05,379 --> 01:18:06,869 just trust me. 1057 01:18:21,695 --> 01:18:23,026 Trust you? 1058 01:18:26,600 --> 01:18:28,864 Are you sure it said, "buffalo's back"? 1059 01:18:28,936 --> 01:18:32,337 We haven't seen anything that looks like a buffalo's back. Nothing. 1060 01:18:32,406 --> 01:18:33,600 You know something? 1061 01:18:33,674 --> 01:18:36,234 You have not stopped whining since we started. 1062 01:18:36,310 --> 01:18:39,302 It's like going on vacation with an ambulance. 1063 01:18:39,413 --> 01:18:42,109 Shut up! You shouldn't even be on this! 1064 01:18:42,916 --> 01:18:46,181 Yeah? If it wasn't for me, we wouldn't even be here. 1065 01:18:46,286 --> 01:18:47,947 Freezing to death! 1066 01:18:49,423 --> 01:18:51,288 Hurry, it's going out! 1067 01:18:57,531 --> 01:18:59,294 That's the last one. 1068 01:19:06,507 --> 01:19:07,872 Good night. 1069 01:19:07,941 --> 01:19:11,433 Good night? How about good-bye? We're going to die up here. 1070 01:19:11,512 --> 01:19:13,173 The sun's up in... 1071 01:19:13,547 --> 01:19:14,912 five hours. 1072 01:19:15,582 --> 01:19:18,517 Tomorrow morning we're all going to be rich. 1073 01:19:26,860 --> 01:19:28,521 Hey, look, guys... 1074 01:19:28,595 --> 01:19:30,790 we're really in trouble here. 1075 01:19:33,567 --> 01:19:35,592 In case we never find our way out... 1076 01:19:35,669 --> 01:19:37,330 and I die first... 1077 01:19:38,972 --> 01:19:40,166 eat me. 1078 01:19:42,476 --> 01:19:43,670 Eat you? 1079 01:19:44,778 --> 01:19:46,905 I mean, if you're starving to death. 1080 01:19:46,980 --> 01:19:50,416 Eat you? I don't even like talking to you on the phone. 1081 01:19:50,484 --> 01:19:54,113 I'm willing to sacrifice myself for the good of the group. 1082 01:19:54,421 --> 01:19:55,683 "Eat me"? 1083 01:19:56,023 --> 01:19:58,287 What a lovely image: "Eat me. " 1084 01:19:58,358 --> 01:20:00,792 Glen, I'm still hungry. Is there any more Phil? 1085 01:20:00,861 --> 01:20:02,522 Pass the Phil. 1086 01:20:03,497 --> 01:20:05,192 He's even good cold! 1087 01:20:05,265 --> 01:20:07,825 Great party, thanks to Phil. 1088 01:20:09,403 --> 01:20:11,428 All right, so don't eat me. 1089 01:20:11,538 --> 01:20:15,304 Jesus Christ! What a bunch of little pisspots. 1090 01:20:24,685 --> 01:20:28,143 Maybe if we huddled together, we could share our body warmth. 1091 01:20:28,222 --> 01:20:31,658 I read in my Time-Life book people can survive that way. 1092 01:20:31,758 --> 01:20:34,283 I mean, we're three 98.6s. 1093 01:20:34,828 --> 01:20:36,796 How much is that, Glen? 1094 01:20:36,864 --> 01:20:39,799 295.8. That's too hot. 1095 01:20:41,368 --> 01:20:43,336 So, what are you saying? 1096 01:20:43,637 --> 01:20:45,366 Well, I'm saying... 1097 01:20:45,973 --> 01:20:47,463 we should hug. 1098 01:20:48,242 --> 01:20:49,607 All night? 1099 01:20:51,378 --> 01:20:52,367 Yeah. 1100 01:20:55,249 --> 01:20:56,307 Okay. 1101 01:20:57,651 --> 01:20:59,141 Come on, Glen. 1102 01:21:11,131 --> 01:21:12,257 Easy. 1103 01:21:19,239 --> 01:21:21,605 Hold still. I'm trying to sleep. 1104 01:21:27,714 --> 01:21:29,204 You know what? 1105 01:21:30,050 --> 01:21:31,915 It is a little warmer. 1106 01:21:37,424 --> 01:21:38,755 Hey, guys? 1107 01:21:40,694 --> 01:21:42,286 What about Duke? 1108 01:21:43,063 --> 01:21:44,587 What about him? 1109 01:21:46,066 --> 01:21:47,966 Shouldn't we invite... 1110 01:21:48,669 --> 01:21:51,297 - invite him to... - To what? To join us? 1111 01:21:51,605 --> 01:21:54,039 - What are you, crazy? - Look at him. 1112 01:21:54,775 --> 01:21:56,242 He could die. 1113 01:21:57,611 --> 01:21:59,238 This isn't right. 1114 01:22:00,914 --> 01:22:02,279 Who's going to ask him? 1115 01:22:05,118 --> 01:22:08,315 - You've been getting along with him best. - Don't make me do this. 1116 01:22:08,388 --> 01:22:09,582 Go. 1117 01:22:10,757 --> 01:22:12,247 Save my place. 1118 01:22:19,700 --> 01:22:20,792 Duke? 1119 01:22:21,568 --> 01:22:24,264 - Yeah. - The guys and I were wondering... 1120 01:22:24,338 --> 01:22:27,330 if you'd like to come back to our place and... 1121 01:22:27,708 --> 01:22:30,336 you know, maybe we could all... 1122 01:22:33,480 --> 01:22:34,504 All what? 1123 01:22:36,883 --> 01:22:37,872 Hug. 1124 01:22:39,286 --> 01:22:40,548 Holy God. 1125 01:22:40,721 --> 01:22:43,849 - I'm up here with a goddamn musical. - No. 1126 01:22:45,592 --> 01:22:47,321 What I meant was... 1127 01:22:49,162 --> 01:22:50,652 body warmth. 1128 01:22:50,864 --> 01:22:53,560 And if we press against each other... 1129 01:22:56,470 --> 01:22:58,768 Come on, you could die up here. 1130 01:22:58,939 --> 01:23:00,099 Maybe. 1131 01:23:05,679 --> 01:23:06,941 Curly... 1132 01:23:07,614 --> 01:23:09,241 ever mention me? 1133 01:23:09,616 --> 01:23:12,710 Well, Curly wasn't really what you'd call gabby. 1134 01:23:13,654 --> 01:23:17,385 He wasn't that chatterbox that you remember from your youth. 1135 01:23:18,292 --> 01:23:21,819 - When was the last time you saw him? - Oh, God, long ago. 1136 01:23:22,562 --> 01:23:24,655 But when you have a twin... 1137 01:23:24,731 --> 01:23:27,666 you see him every time you look in the mirror. 1138 01:23:29,369 --> 01:23:32,497 Sometimes you don't know what you have, until... 1139 01:23:33,040 --> 01:23:35,338 Till you don't have it anymore. 1140 01:23:35,809 --> 01:23:37,800 I liked having a brother. 1141 01:23:40,781 --> 01:23:42,146 Did Curly... 1142 01:23:42,716 --> 01:23:44,081 die happy? 1143 01:23:45,252 --> 01:23:46,742 Does anybody? 1144 01:23:49,456 --> 01:23:51,287 Well, I think he did. 1145 01:23:51,758 --> 01:23:56,627 One of the last things he said to me was, "There's nothing like bringing in a herd". 1146 01:23:56,697 --> 01:23:59,495 It must be how you feel when you're at sea. 1147 01:24:00,133 --> 01:24:03,432 I lost my boat in a squall about two years ago. 1148 01:24:03,503 --> 01:24:05,095 Half-squall. 1149 01:24:05,172 --> 01:24:08,733 I just wasn't a good enough sailor, so I came ashore. 1150 01:24:10,544 --> 01:24:12,535 What have you been doing since? 1151 01:24:12,612 --> 01:24:14,637 A friend of mine's son... 1152 01:24:15,349 --> 01:24:20,150 opened a seafood restaurant in San Diego, The Happy Pirate. 1153 01:24:21,188 --> 01:24:23,622 - I work there. - You're the manager? 1154 01:24:25,692 --> 01:24:27,592 I am the happy pirate. 1155 01:24:27,761 --> 01:24:30,161 Bird on my shoulder, pirate hat... 1156 01:24:30,230 --> 01:24:32,027 one hand's a hook. 1157 01:24:32,232 --> 01:24:35,292 "How would you like your burger cooked, matey? " 1158 01:24:37,671 --> 01:24:41,698 Sometimes I can't stand it, I want to spit in their goddamn clam chowder. 1159 01:24:41,775 --> 01:24:44,107 I've been a sailor for 50 years. 1160 01:24:44,177 --> 01:24:46,145 I don't know how to do anything else. 1161 01:24:46,213 --> 01:24:47,840 I'd just be lost. 1162 01:24:50,050 --> 01:24:51,449 Mitch, I... 1163 01:24:52,119 --> 01:24:54,212 I've got to find that gold. 1164 01:24:54,821 --> 01:24:56,448 I need that gold. 1165 01:25:37,164 --> 01:25:40,190 Guys, come on. Are you all right? 1166 01:25:40,667 --> 01:25:43,465 You all right? Come on, wake up. 1167 01:25:44,371 --> 01:25:46,805 Guys, we made it! We're alive. 1168 01:25:47,507 --> 01:25:49,270 Come on, we did it. 1169 01:25:49,342 --> 01:25:50,934 Come on, get up. 1170 01:25:51,445 --> 01:25:53,310 All right, now listen. 1171 01:25:53,613 --> 01:25:56,844 This is it. This is finished. We're going back. 1172 01:25:57,350 --> 01:25:59,181 Listen, no arguments, Glen. 1173 01:25:59,252 --> 01:26:01,447 We'll never survive another night like this. 1174 01:26:01,521 --> 01:26:04,081 - You got no argument here. Let's just go. - Right. 1175 01:26:04,157 --> 01:26:06,022 We'd better tell Duke. 1176 01:26:07,694 --> 01:26:09,093 Where is he? 1177 01:26:10,497 --> 01:26:13,398 You guys pack up, I'll go find him. Come on. 1178 01:26:17,571 --> 01:26:18,697 Duke? 1179 01:26:39,559 --> 01:26:40,753 Oh, no. 1180 01:26:41,328 --> 01:26:42,761 Not him, too. 1181 01:26:43,296 --> 01:26:46,595 What is with this family? Everybody dies sitting up? 1182 01:26:47,367 --> 01:26:49,733 You wouldn't hug us, you big dope! 1183 01:26:51,371 --> 01:26:54,534 You thought I was dead, didn't you? What do you want? 1184 01:26:54,608 --> 01:26:55,905 Listen, Duke... 1185 01:26:56,109 --> 01:26:59,909 I know what this treasure means to you, but we're going back. 1186 01:27:01,581 --> 01:27:03,572 You mean, back that way? 1187 01:27:05,085 --> 01:27:09,545 - Over the buffalo's back? - What buffalo's back? There isn't any! 1188 01:27:09,623 --> 01:27:13,423 There's a buffalo's back down there. Here, look through this. 1189 01:27:13,994 --> 01:27:15,552 Look down there. 1190 01:27:16,663 --> 01:27:19,928 We crossed it in the dark and didn't even know it. 1191 01:27:20,700 --> 01:27:22,031 Glen was right. 1192 01:27:22,102 --> 01:27:24,366 He was also right about the frozen people. 1193 01:27:24,437 --> 01:27:26,905 - How do you know? - Look down there. 1194 01:27:28,475 --> 01:27:30,238 I don't believe it. 1195 01:27:32,078 --> 01:27:33,773 That's gold, buddy. 1196 01:27:36,483 --> 01:27:38,815 Are you still going to go back? 1197 01:27:42,122 --> 01:27:44,022 Give me this. Go get everyone. 1198 01:27:44,090 --> 01:27:45,819 Look at them! Guys! 1199 01:27:49,362 --> 01:27:51,296 We're going to be rich! 1200 01:28:04,444 --> 01:28:07,607 "Come and get me. Come and get me. " 1201 01:28:19,125 --> 01:28:22,686 This could be it. There's an entrance to a cave. Come on. 1202 01:28:26,833 --> 01:28:28,494 Come on, let's go. 1203 01:28:36,242 --> 01:28:37,971 I can't believe it. 1204 01:28:44,651 --> 01:28:47,381 - Where's the stuff? - Get it. Put it down. 1205 01:28:55,795 --> 01:28:57,490 Where do we go now? 1206 01:28:57,564 --> 01:29:01,557 I'll bet that's what was on the corner of the map that's missing. 1207 01:29:03,370 --> 01:29:05,668 What's the matter, Duke? Do you see something? 1208 01:29:05,739 --> 01:29:06,899 Quiet. 1209 01:29:07,841 --> 01:29:10,071 My daddy was in this cave. 1210 01:29:11,378 --> 01:29:13,642 - How can you tell? - I just can. 1211 01:29:14,247 --> 01:29:17,705 Sure, like we could always tell when our dad had been in the bathroom. 1212 01:29:18,618 --> 01:29:20,381 There are a lot of passageways. 1213 01:29:21,388 --> 01:29:24,414 - Let's split up and each take one. - Alone? 1214 01:29:26,559 --> 01:29:28,322 I'll take this one. 1215 01:29:33,099 --> 01:29:34,327 Hey, Mitch... 1216 01:29:34,601 --> 01:29:37,866 what if the cave is booby-trapped? 1217 01:29:38,738 --> 01:29:43,004 You go down the wrong passageway and you get your head chopped off? 1218 01:29:43,410 --> 01:29:46,868 Or a huge boulder comes rolling at you, and it crushes your head? 1219 01:29:46,946 --> 01:29:48,914 Would you shut up? Stop it! 1220 01:29:48,982 --> 01:29:51,883 Why did you have to say something like that? 1221 01:29:53,386 --> 01:29:56,878 Look at this. There's three tunnels. What do we do now? 1222 01:30:00,627 --> 01:30:03,357 Okay, Glen, take the one in the middle. 1223 01:30:03,830 --> 01:30:05,320 I'll take this one... 1224 01:30:05,398 --> 01:30:07,366 and you take that. Okay? 1225 01:31:14,567 --> 01:31:16,933 Will you guys shut up? 1226 01:31:30,850 --> 01:31:32,545 Don't do that now. 1227 01:31:38,057 --> 01:31:40,048 Come on! 1228 01:31:40,126 --> 01:31:41,457 Thank you. 1229 01:32:50,697 --> 01:32:52,096 - Find anything? - No, you? 1230 01:32:52,165 --> 01:32:53,826 Yeah, I found you. 1231 01:32:57,904 --> 01:33:00,134 - Can you hear something? - Yeah. 1232 01:33:00,440 --> 01:33:02,374 It sounds like a train. 1233 01:33:02,709 --> 01:33:03,971 A train? 1234 01:33:04,077 --> 01:33:06,409 Hey, look, there's some tracks. 1235 01:33:17,290 --> 01:33:19,815 - Is something coming? - I don't know. 1236 01:33:21,160 --> 01:33:22,889 Here's how you tell. 1237 01:33:28,368 --> 01:33:30,165 What are you doing? 1238 01:33:30,236 --> 01:33:32,431 I'm listening for vibrations. 1239 01:33:36,609 --> 01:33:38,668 Yeah, something's coming. 1240 01:33:42,415 --> 01:33:45,509 And it's definitely coming from that direction. 1241 01:33:58,264 --> 01:33:59,231 That was Mitch. 1242 01:34:11,744 --> 01:34:13,211 Are you okay? 1243 01:34:14,580 --> 01:34:16,844 - I'm all right. - Where are you? 1244 01:34:18,017 --> 01:34:20,383 - Follow the tracks. - I got it. 1245 01:34:50,216 --> 01:34:51,376 Hello. 1246 01:35:12,705 --> 01:35:14,104 I found it. 1247 01:35:15,208 --> 01:35:16,607 I found it. 1248 01:35:18,678 --> 01:35:19,736 Guys! 1249 01:35:20,213 --> 01:35:21,840 I found the gold. 1250 01:35:26,686 --> 01:35:29,849 "Man, what a gold rush. I found the gold. 1251 01:35:29,922 --> 01:35:32,516 "It's mine, I tell you. It's all my gold. 1252 01:35:32,759 --> 01:35:36,786 "We don't have to show him no stinking badges. I found the gold! " 1253 01:35:38,498 --> 01:35:39,863 Down here! 1254 01:35:41,901 --> 01:35:44,631 - Where is it? - He found it? 1255 01:35:44,704 --> 01:35:46,194 Guys, I found the gold! 1256 01:35:46,272 --> 01:35:47,796 Let me see it! 1257 01:35:58,584 --> 01:36:00,552 Can I just say one thing? 1258 01:36:00,620 --> 01:36:01,951 We're rich! 1259 01:36:08,494 --> 01:36:10,462 We did it! 1260 01:36:11,030 --> 01:36:13,055 What the hell is going on? 1261 01:36:13,733 --> 01:36:16,327 Duke, we found it! We found the gold. 1262 01:36:17,503 --> 01:36:18,765 You did? 1263 01:36:19,605 --> 01:36:22,631 - Over here, Duke. - Holy shit! 1264 01:36:26,212 --> 01:36:28,373 You found the gold? Holy... 1265 01:36:38,458 --> 01:36:42,451 Stand back, boys. It is time for the Walter Huston dance. 1266 01:36:45,832 --> 01:36:49,529 - Hey, Duke, no more happy pirate. - That's right, no more. 1267 01:36:51,404 --> 01:36:54,168 You believe this guy? Last night he wouldn't even hug me! 1268 01:36:54,240 --> 01:36:56,037 See how the money makes a difference? 1269 01:37:03,783 --> 01:37:06,581 Let's go get the burros and start loading this stuff up. 1270 01:37:06,652 --> 01:37:08,313 Stop right there. 1271 01:37:08,454 --> 01:37:11,355 Did you really think we'd let you take the gold out of here? 1272 01:37:11,424 --> 01:37:14,188 - Thanks for doing all the work. - I don't believe this. 1273 01:37:14,260 --> 01:37:17,229 - How the hell did you follow us, Pig-boy? - Never mind that. 1274 01:37:17,296 --> 01:37:20,993 It's our gold now, and I'm afraid we can't leave witnesses. 1275 01:37:35,114 --> 01:37:38,083 Get the gun! Quick! 1276 01:37:53,900 --> 01:37:55,060 Mitch! 1277 01:37:56,335 --> 01:37:57,427 Glen! 1278 01:38:14,987 --> 01:38:17,285 It's better this way, isn't it? 1279 01:38:17,557 --> 01:38:20,048 It's better it's me instead of you. 1280 01:38:20,426 --> 01:38:23,088 This way Barbara and the kids... 1281 01:38:26,499 --> 01:38:28,967 I'm sorry I wasn't a good brother. 1282 01:38:29,402 --> 01:38:30,926 No, I'm sorry. 1283 01:38:31,604 --> 01:38:36,200 Don't worry, we'll get some help. Hold on, we'll get some help, you'll see. 1284 01:38:36,576 --> 01:38:38,476 Somebody get some help! 1285 01:38:39,111 --> 01:38:40,601 Get some help! 1286 01:38:41,547 --> 01:38:44,038 It's okay. You always helped me. 1287 01:38:45,685 --> 01:38:47,710 You took me to the movies. 1288 01:38:49,789 --> 01:38:51,188 It's funny... 1289 01:38:51,791 --> 01:38:53,588 it doesn't even hurt. 1290 01:38:55,695 --> 01:38:56,787 Glen? 1291 01:39:13,112 --> 01:39:17,845 You killed him! You son of a bitch! You killed my best friend's brother! 1292 01:39:21,320 --> 01:39:25,017 These aren't real bullets. These are blanks. 1293 01:39:26,058 --> 01:39:27,184 What? 1294 01:39:30,963 --> 01:39:32,624 These are blanks. 1295 01:39:33,032 --> 01:39:34,158 Here. 1296 01:39:35,334 --> 01:39:37,996 - It's paint! - What the hell is going on? 1297 01:39:39,071 --> 01:39:41,198 - That's funny! - Yeah, real funny. 1298 01:39:42,275 --> 01:39:44,140 Hey, who's down there? 1299 01:39:46,646 --> 01:39:50,207 What in the name of John Wayne's ass is going on in here? 1300 01:39:50,616 --> 01:39:53,380 Clay Stone? From the cattle drive? 1301 01:39:53,786 --> 01:39:56,482 I remember you two. What are you doing? 1302 01:39:59,859 --> 01:40:01,918 Great buckets of bullshit! 1303 01:40:03,162 --> 01:40:05,426 It's Curly, come back to life. 1304 01:40:06,032 --> 01:40:08,557 I'm not Curly, I'm his brother, Duke. 1305 01:40:08,701 --> 01:40:10,293 Who the hell are you? 1306 01:40:10,369 --> 01:40:13,361 I'm Clay Stone. Hell, I've been looking for you for months. 1307 01:40:14,807 --> 01:40:17,503 - What did you do to my boys? - Your boys? 1308 01:40:17,910 --> 01:40:21,437 - What happened? We heard shots. - Is everybody all right? 1309 01:40:21,981 --> 01:40:23,972 Ira and Barry Shalowitz? 1310 01:40:24,617 --> 01:40:26,517 Mitch? Phil? 1311 01:40:28,287 --> 01:40:29,754 What are you doing here? 1312 01:40:29,822 --> 01:40:33,690 Oh, God, it's Curly! He's come back from the dead. 1313 01:40:33,759 --> 01:40:35,249 He looks great. 1314 01:40:35,328 --> 01:40:37,421 It's Duke, Curly's brother. 1315 01:40:37,496 --> 01:40:39,828 Will somebody please... 1316 01:40:39,999 --> 01:40:42,024 tell me what the hell is going on here? 1317 01:40:42,101 --> 01:40:44,331 - Didn't Curly tell you? - No! 1318 01:40:44,403 --> 01:40:45,927 Hell, it was his idea. 1319 01:40:46,005 --> 01:40:48,803 We take folks on a real Western treasure hunt. 1320 01:40:48,874 --> 01:40:51,775 Follow right in the steps of the old Washburn gang. 1321 01:40:51,844 --> 01:40:54,813 Yeah, we get these maps, and we follow these clues... 1322 01:40:54,880 --> 01:40:56,609 It's been exciting. 1323 01:40:57,350 --> 01:40:58,510 It's been great. 1324 01:40:58,584 --> 01:41:00,882 Better than those cattle drives. Yes, sir-ee. 1325 01:41:02,288 --> 01:41:04,882 More fun. You don't have to watch where you step. 1326 01:41:04,957 --> 01:41:08,085 Yeah, but we actually found it. 1327 01:41:08,160 --> 01:41:10,958 Yes, and it belongs to us. 1328 01:41:11,030 --> 01:41:12,190 What, that? 1329 01:41:12,264 --> 01:41:15,859 Everybody finds that. Hell, that's just lead painted with gold. 1330 01:41:15,935 --> 01:41:18,563 Just to make it a little bit more fun. 1331 01:41:19,338 --> 01:41:21,329 Take a look for yourself. 1332 01:41:25,644 --> 01:41:27,771 Then, to give it extra goose... 1333 01:41:27,847 --> 01:41:30,179 the boys come in, pretend to rob them... 1334 01:41:30,249 --> 01:41:32,444 and shoot them with paint pellets. 1335 01:41:32,518 --> 01:41:34,713 Scares the Evian out of them. 1336 01:41:38,190 --> 01:41:40,420 Then there's no real treasure? 1337 01:41:41,560 --> 01:41:45,052 Curly came up here a lot of times, but he never found anything. 1338 01:41:45,131 --> 01:41:47,725 But he wrote to me, said we were going to be rich. 1339 01:41:47,800 --> 01:41:51,065 I don't know about being rich, but you make a damn good living. 1340 01:41:51,137 --> 01:41:53,071 He wanted to cut you in for a piece. 1341 01:41:53,139 --> 01:41:55,699 As far as I'm concerned, you can have his share. 1342 01:41:59,178 --> 01:42:00,975 That's what he meant? 1343 01:42:02,047 --> 01:42:03,514 I believe so. 1344 01:42:07,720 --> 01:42:11,281 You boys came up here thinking that this was real? 1345 01:42:18,063 --> 01:42:19,052 Yeah. 1346 01:42:23,402 --> 01:42:25,336 Unbelievable. 1347 01:42:34,914 --> 01:42:37,007 Un-by-God-believable! 1348 01:42:40,920 --> 01:42:42,581 - Ready? - I'm wound. 1349 01:42:47,693 --> 01:42:48,955 I got it. 1350 01:42:51,263 --> 01:42:53,527 We're Barry and Ira Shalowitz. 1351 01:42:55,935 --> 01:42:58,062 We helped bury your brother. 1352 01:43:01,006 --> 01:43:03,736 Maybe someday I can do the same for you. 1353 01:43:09,081 --> 01:43:11,345 Well, it was nice meeting you. 1354 01:43:13,786 --> 01:43:16,516 You start a conversation with, "We buried your brother"? 1355 01:43:16,589 --> 01:43:18,921 - I was flustered. - It's impolite. 1356 01:43:18,991 --> 01:43:21,824 Come on, let's get a cold beverage and... 1357 01:43:21,894 --> 01:43:23,691 - Going somewhere? - No. 1358 01:43:25,197 --> 01:43:29,497 I'll take Clay's sons down and show them where we left our horses. 1359 01:43:29,568 --> 01:43:31,092 We'll help you. 1360 01:43:31,170 --> 01:43:34,003 I can do it. You guys got to go to Las Vegas. 1361 01:43:34,073 --> 01:43:36,098 I don't got to go nowhere. 1362 01:43:39,912 --> 01:43:43,177 What are you going to do, Duke? Work for Clay Stone? 1363 01:43:43,249 --> 01:43:47,083 Come up here every week and find a fake treasure? No, thanks. 1364 01:43:50,589 --> 01:43:52,386 So what will you do? 1365 01:43:53,259 --> 01:43:54,692 That gold... 1366 01:43:56,195 --> 01:43:58,459 That gold is up here somewhere. 1367 01:43:58,531 --> 01:44:01,056 - Duke... - No, it's up here somewhere. 1368 01:44:07,072 --> 01:44:08,539 Thanks for... 1369 01:44:08,707 --> 01:44:10,766 being Curly's last friend. 1370 01:44:11,544 --> 01:44:13,273 It was my pleasure. 1371 01:44:14,146 --> 01:44:15,670 Okay, come on. 1372 01:44:16,015 --> 01:44:17,539 Come on, baby. 1373 01:44:21,186 --> 01:44:24,678 Did Curly ever tell you what that one thing was? 1374 01:44:26,625 --> 01:44:30,152 He said that's what you have to figure out for yourself. 1375 01:44:32,798 --> 01:44:33,856 God. 1376 01:44:34,400 --> 01:44:37,233 He was a real pain in the ass, wasn't he? 1377 01:44:54,720 --> 01:44:56,984 - About five minutes. - Good. 1378 01:44:57,723 --> 01:44:59,884 Well, how stupid do we feel? 1379 01:45:00,659 --> 01:45:02,650 I don't feel that stupid. 1380 01:45:03,195 --> 01:45:06,358 - Then you're stupid. - No, I'm confused. 1381 01:45:08,000 --> 01:45:10,935 - Why don't I feel worse? - I don't know. 1382 01:45:12,338 --> 01:45:14,499 Think about it for a second. 1383 01:45:14,907 --> 01:45:17,000 How bad do you really feel? 1384 01:45:20,245 --> 01:45:23,339 I don't know. You know, not as bad as I should. 1385 01:45:26,151 --> 01:45:28,346 I feel pretty good, actually. 1386 01:45:29,655 --> 01:45:31,088 Why is that? 1387 01:45:31,857 --> 01:45:34,223 Well, we had a great adventure... 1388 01:45:34,293 --> 01:45:37,353 we weren't killed, which is always a feature I like. 1389 01:45:37,429 --> 01:45:40,956 - And we found a box full of lead. - That's not how I look at it. 1390 01:45:41,033 --> 01:45:43,331 I mean, you guys saved my life. 1391 01:45:44,803 --> 01:45:47,601 I mean, you stepped in front of a bullet. 1392 01:45:48,707 --> 01:45:51,301 You jumped on a guy who was ready to shoot me. 1393 01:45:51,377 --> 01:45:54,369 - They were blanks. - But you didn't know that. 1394 01:45:54,446 --> 01:45:57,415 We didn't have any guided tour or box lunches. 1395 01:45:57,483 --> 01:45:59,713 All we had was each other. 1396 01:46:01,086 --> 01:46:02,678 And we made it. 1397 01:46:03,222 --> 01:46:04,314 Me... 1398 01:46:04,623 --> 01:46:06,284 my best friend... 1399 01:46:08,160 --> 01:46:09,684 and my brother. 1400 01:46:12,064 --> 01:46:14,362 We found the Washburn treasure! 1401 01:46:15,768 --> 01:46:17,065 We did it. 1402 01:46:18,404 --> 01:46:20,133 We found that gold! 1403 01:46:21,974 --> 01:46:23,441 Philly-boy... 1404 01:46:23,942 --> 01:46:25,432 you did great. 1405 01:46:26,879 --> 01:46:28,039 Thanks. 1406 01:46:36,455 --> 01:46:38,423 I'm really proud of you. 1407 01:47:20,232 --> 01:47:22,166 God, look at this town! 1408 01:47:23,268 --> 01:47:25,498 Filled with desperate people. 1409 01:47:27,272 --> 01:47:29,638 Why do you think they come here? 1410 01:47:29,708 --> 01:47:34,236 Well, the buffets are lovely. There's $3.95 all-you-can-eat. 1411 01:47:34,313 --> 01:47:37,009 They want to hit the jackpot, get rich. 1412 01:47:38,884 --> 01:47:41,648 Listen, I feel bad for you, I really do. 1413 01:47:41,720 --> 01:47:45,281 But could we talk about this later? Maybe have a drink together? 1414 01:47:45,357 --> 01:47:48,485 My wife is coming in from the airport right now. 1415 01:47:48,560 --> 01:47:50,152 I told her everything... 1416 01:47:50,229 --> 01:47:53,721 and I planned this fabulous evening of being yelled at. 1417 01:47:53,899 --> 01:47:55,389 I understand. 1418 01:47:55,567 --> 01:47:57,899 I came back... 1419 01:47:59,071 --> 01:48:01,665 to tell you that I know what this is. 1420 01:48:05,410 --> 01:48:06,934 It's honesty... 1421 01:48:08,347 --> 01:48:09,837 integrity. 1422 01:48:11,350 --> 01:48:13,113 Great, that's great. 1423 01:48:13,185 --> 01:48:15,745 So, listen, thanks for scaring me... 1424 01:48:15,821 --> 01:48:17,311 and maybe... 1425 01:48:17,990 --> 01:48:19,252 Honesty. 1426 01:48:22,261 --> 01:48:23,489 Gotcha. 1427 01:48:28,433 --> 01:48:30,094 You know, Mitch... 1428 01:48:30,335 --> 01:48:32,326 right down to the end... 1429 01:48:34,306 --> 01:48:37,434 I was planning to cheat you and your friends. 1430 01:48:41,947 --> 01:48:44,245 I was going to find the gold... 1431 01:48:44,316 --> 01:48:46,841 then I was going to say I didn't find it... 1432 01:48:46,919 --> 01:48:49,353 and after you guys had gone, I was going... 1433 01:48:49,421 --> 01:48:52,857 I was going to have it all, all to myself. 1434 01:48:54,626 --> 01:48:55,820 Only... 1435 01:48:57,462 --> 01:48:59,089 I couldn't do it. 1436 01:48:59,164 --> 01:49:01,496 Of course not, because it isn't up there. 1437 01:49:01,567 --> 01:49:03,797 - Yes, it is. - No, it isn't. 1438 01:49:04,069 --> 01:49:06,333 Curly was up there a million times. 1439 01:49:06,405 --> 01:49:07,838 My mother... 1440 01:49:07,906 --> 01:49:11,137 didn't want either of us to find that treasure without the other. 1441 01:49:11,210 --> 01:49:14,543 She wanted her boys to do something together. 1442 01:49:17,716 --> 01:49:20,207 So she gave Curly the map... 1443 01:49:23,755 --> 01:49:25,245 Wait a minute. 1444 01:49:29,928 --> 01:49:32,226 She sent me the missing corner. 1445 01:49:36,768 --> 01:49:37,928 There. 1446 01:49:38,003 --> 01:49:39,493 Look at that. 1447 01:49:47,379 --> 01:49:49,006 "Hot on my trail. 1448 01:49:49,481 --> 01:49:51,312 "Re-buried here, 1909. 1449 01:49:53,118 --> 01:49:54,608 "L. Washburn. " 1450 01:49:58,490 --> 01:50:00,583 Did you draw this yourself? 1451 01:50:00,659 --> 01:50:02,456 Is that what you did? 1452 01:50:03,262 --> 01:50:06,857 You prankster. You scamp. You little ruffian. 1453 01:50:06,932 --> 01:50:10,629 Forget it. I'm not going back up there. There's nothing there. 1454 01:50:10,702 --> 01:50:15,105 I'm through hunting for treasure. What am I, one of the Little Rascals? 1455 01:50:19,211 --> 01:50:21,702 What do you think of that, Spanky? 1456 01:50:24,816 --> 01:50:26,147 This is... 1457 01:50:32,691 --> 01:50:34,625 It's got friends. 1458 01:50:40,766 --> 01:50:43,428 "Come and get me. Come and get me. "